Your Guardian Angel
by Amy Larson
Summary: My first ever fanfic! RevanxCarth for Kotor 1 spoiler warning, for those who haven't played the game. Starts after Saul reveals some disturbing news to Carth Onasi... I'm bad at descriptions. Read and Review please. Enjoy!
1. Left Behind

Author Notes: I can't believe how little time it took me to write this! I hope you all enjoy, this is my first ever fanfic, read and review and such.

Thanks: To Heart of the Guardian from Bioware forums for helping me edit. Thanks to Agharo from Carth Community for edit & support & reminding me of my old creative writing teacher. I'll add more when story has progressed.

Disclaimer: Say I look anything like George Lucas and I'll rip your eyes out with my bare hands. You don't deserve to be making judgments like that. D: Translation? Star Wars and everything related to it ain't mine.

* * *

It had only taken a few words from his previous mentor to shatter Carth's entire world, and few more to rub it in his face. 

"You didn't know, did you? Eheh…" Saul was _choking on his own vocal cords_ and all he wanted to do was make fun of Carth.

At that moment, the pilot wanted more than anything to beat Saul silly, except he had his damned sense of morality to stay his hand from hurting the dying – Saul was at his lowest anyway. He was lying to hurt Carth even beyond his death, the spiteful schutta… But why… Why lie about that? Of all the things he could have said…

"No. No. It's not true, it can't be… Damn you, Saul, damn you!"

But in his words rang some truth. It would explain why the Jedi trained her at her age (not that she was old or anything), and why she trained so quickly. But it did not explain her current behaviors. Did most Dark Lords of the Sith toss credits around to the poor and plagued by those in power? Usually the Sith Lord _was_ the one in power, plaguing the poor. Besides all this were Carth's emotions, dancing around him and clashing against each other towards a nearly dizzying effect.

He tried to shake it off as he got up and turned towards Bastila, who regarded him with pity, but caution. "You knew, didn't you? You and the whole damned Jedi Council!"

"What, what did he say, Carth?" Elizabeth asked him, appearing by all means innocent. Did she think to toy with him? She was worse than Saul – she had been pretending this whole time. After he had told her so much, after he had begun to… _No._ He waved his thoughts away like they were an annoying bug.

"Carth, we had no choice. You must understand. We'd wiped her memory so that…" Bastila paused, seemed to think, and then spoke again. "We can't speak of this now; we have to get off this ship. I promise, I'll explain everything." She was pleading to him with her eyes and her tone, and he let in.

"Yeah, well, I'll hold you to that," he murmured. He used the nearby console to unlock the hangar before sulking out of the command center, a quiet Bastila and confused Elizabeth in tow.

Elizabeth glanced at the back of Carth's head every few seconds, as if doing that could help her sense his thoughts or what Saul could have possibly said beyond her being of Malak's bloodline that could have upset him so much. She didn't like to see him upset, despite that mood's way of furrowing his brow in an adorable manner, and she got the feeling this was a very, _very_ big deal to him. Bastila tossed her an unreadable look over her shoulder.

Elizabeth jogged to the head of the group. They made their way through several rooms of Sith captains, soldiers, and a few dark Jedi until they came to a series of blast doors. She was about to proceed when the door directly in front of them opened, and Elizabeth hopped back, startled. Malak himself, the Dark Lord of the Sith, emerged from the door into the red-tinted hallway.

"Down you go!" Carth shouted immediately, shooting Malak with his blasters, only to be promptly thrown back with a force push. Elizabeth glared at Malak and drew her lightsaber. _No one_ force pushed _her_ flyboy.

She had not expected to see Malak here, though she did know he was coming, she had hoped they would escape to the _Ebon Hawk_ in time and spare them from this delightful little meeting. She supposed she'd been dazed by the general idea that the Jedi were infallible. That everything right that could happen would happen to them. That most certainly didn't apply to _her._

"Malak, I will end this." Elizabeth said, snapping back to attention after her brief thought train. That always happened. When she was thinking, her head floated off to another galaxy, and it wasn't always so easy to get it back. "You _will_ be stopped." _One way or another._

"What a pleasant reunion." Malak replied, leering at her. "I knew you were not dead, but to become a Jedi, Revan? A pity, your potential _was_ great." He smirked at her with his eyes, his jaw not being capable of doing so.

There was a stunner. "Revan? What are you talking about you… You grey-skinned… g-gizka tail?!" _My insulting abilities have been drained away on Carth. __So much for that.__ He's probably laughing at me._

In truth Carth was furious. _And thoroughly robbed of my dignity,_ he thought as he stood up, rubbing the back of his head. Blinded with contempt for Saul and Malak… And Elizabeth, too. If she had known that she might not have beaten Malak – in a sense, anyway.

"You really don't know? What pleasure it gives me to be the one to reveal it to you, then." Malak raised his hand, and Elizabeth felt waves of dizziness hitting her. She tried to resist it, but she really wanted to know what Malak was talking about. She let in, figuring if he was wrapped up with giving her the visions it would be okay to be wrapped up with receiving them. Just for a while. Her eyes rolled up as the images and memories descended upon her.

_"They say the force can do terrible things to a mind. It can wipe away your memories and destroy your very identity."_

_"I am afraid this mission shall lead you down an all too familiar path…"_

_"We do not usually take adults for training, but this is a _special_ case."_

_And Revan, black robes and bloodstone mask, poised with dignity, oozing dark power like a festering wound, removing her mask__…_

Elizabeth's face was there- but it couldn't be… Could it? But the visions… and the council's words…

Before the vision left her, Elizabeth easily decided her thoughts on the matter– she simply was not who she used to be. The mind-wipe (what Bastila had been talking about earlier, she now realized) had only helped that, greatly, admittedly, but undeniably, where there was once only hunger and anger and hate, dark and burning, there was now caring, good, down to her veins. She had passions, yes, but she had already decided that the Jedi were very wrong about passions, about love. Some could lead to an inspiration, a sense of goodness, a purpose, which nothing else could. She knew that fairly well. So that was it. She was not Revan, she was Elizabeth. End of story. She couldn't even remember being Revan. Surely that counted for something?

Then the visions lifted and Malak stood there again, as smug looking as a man with half a face could be. _How did he talk like that, anyway?_ Elizabeth wondered.

"So. I'm Revan, eh? Huh…" she sighed and lit her lightsaber, the blue blade of the Jedi Guardian adding a purple hue to the blast tunnels.

Malak looked at her incredulously. "That is it? You were not known before to be so… uncaring about your position."

He would be all high about his new status. He'd certainly made a big show of it, blowing up every world in sight, or as he liked to call it, "wiping the planet from the face of the galaxy". He probably considered himself some sort of pimple-prevention alcohol pad. Wipe away the pimple worlds in only a few minutes!

Elizabeth shook her head. "Malak… I'm not really that way anymore. I'm just not. So, tell you what- This is your chance to give up this life, baldy – the Jedi may show mercy if you give up now, ne?"

Malak laughed. "Mercy? Is that what you call that mind-wipe? They took your very identity, Revan, your prestigious position, to turn you into a slave of the Jedi Code, to further their own ambitions. You call that _mercy?_"

"And you call a dark lord prestigious? Did they hit your brain giving you those crazy-ass tattoos?" _Oh yes. Go me._

"Rev- Elizabeth, you're okay with this?" Bastila asked. "Y-you do know we… We had to do it. They couldn't kill you."

"Of course I understand. And I forgive you."

"You truly have grown weak, Revan," Malak said, lighting his 'saber. "We have power, _I_ have power, more than you will ever now know – because we revel in our passions, instead of turning them aside – peace is a lie, it could never be, and in a place where peace can not exist, it is pointless to try and bring it about. You must play the game to win, and you won't get anywhere by showing _mercy_ for those who are _weak_."

"No, Malak. You're wrong. Peace can be achieved, but there are too many evil bantha-heads running around in _red jumpsuits_ and raggedy _half capes_ for it to be an easy job on us." _There we go. Back on my game again, _Elizabeth thought, smiling to herself.

"And that is why you will die here, Revan."

"Excuse me, not Reva-!" Elizabeth rushed to block Malak's attack with her own lightsaber. He caught her off-guard, but she struck at him as he put Bastila and Carth in a stasis, and he barely had time to dodge a would-be 'nick' to the shoulder.

Malak struck again, using hard, generally aimed blows instead of quick, precise ones. Revan _had_ been the master tactician, after all. But they were both skilled with the lightsaber, and each blow was matched nearly equally.

Elizabeth watched for weaknesses in his technique as he fought her, which mostly resembled Shii-cho in its simplicity… Her problem was that Malak was practically made for that form, his lightsaber included: the hilt was thick, larger than most, matching his own physical stature.

As the two did battle so did the colors on the walls, alternating red and purple every few moments. Elizabeth was quicker than Malak, and although he was good at his form she was beginning to gain the upper hand, and Malak was growing angry. He raised a hand and red lightning shot from it, lobbing his previous master on the chest and sucking away her very life to feed it to him – force drain. He drained her until she fell to her knees on the floor.

She groaned and held her head, but realizing her danger she leapt at him before he had a chance to take advantage of her position. Elizabeth threw a punch to his gut, then hopped backwards and force healed herself as he held his stomach and fought the vertigo. She stood still, unwilling to strike a helpless opponent, as he was only too ready to do.

Malak glared daggers at her as he stood up straight again. "Do NOT hold back on me, Revan. It is demeaning!"

"Stop calling me Revan!" It was enough already that the name held this terrible feeling in it, like a scar being cut over again, and she could feel Malak's dark power tugging at every part of her, calling her, crooning and promising terrible things…

"You cannot deny who you are!" Malak lashed out at her with force lightning, but she channeled it away from her with her 'saber and lunged forward to strike at him again. They began trading blows again, neck-at-neck, until it got to the point where Elizabeth could anticipate where Malak would next strike, and block accordingly, and know when he would be open for a counter-strike. It was becoming increasingly obvious that Elizabeth was winning and Malak was tiring, when suddenly he turned and fled, the blast door shutting and locking behind him.

Elizabeth stared after him in disbelief. _Did he just run from me?_ _Did he _really_ just run away from a fight?_ She hesitated for a moment, then chased after him through another blast door.

It took her a while to get to Malak, but there he was, in the center chamber. "Why did you run?" Elizabeth shouted.

"To see if you would _follow me_. You did. And you will." Malak lit his lightsaber again, and again they fought. It was getting a bit repetitive to her. The same strokes and counter strokes, the flash and blaze of energy… She thought she was beginning to remember… When she had watched over him as he constructed it – she had guided him through it, step-by-step, and watched as he ignited it for the first time…

Then Bastila burst through the blast door to her left, Carth behind her. "Elizabeth, Carth, RUN!" she shouted, lighting her yellow double-bladed 'saber and stepping towards Malak. "It's me he wants."

Carth grabbed Elizabeth's arm and pulled her away, and the blast door slammed shut. The sounds of lightsabers clashing came from behind it. Carth pulled Elizabeth's arm again, but she resisted.

"NO! We have to go back for Bastila!" she shouted.

"There isn't any time! We need to get back to the _Ebon Hawk_!" Carth grasped her shoulders and forcefully guided her away from Malak and Bastila, to the hangar doors just beyond the blast tunnels. She resisted for a few moments, then ran to the _Ebon Hawk_, Carth close behind. The boarding ramp lifted and closed after them, and the _Hawk_ rose and flew from the hanger of the _Leviathan_.


	2. Bad At Who You Are

"I think you've got something to say to the crew, _'__Elizabeth,'_" Carth said, glaring at the ex-dark lord.

The venom in his voice stung her. So that was what Saul had told him. _Surely he could see that – I mean, surely he's not SO stubborn that… What am I thinking? Of course he is._ Elizabeth gazed sadly at Carth's deep brown eyes, the pools of warmth and comfort that lit up in her presence… Or used to. She could see it there. He blamed her for it all. Telos's destruction, his wife's death, Dustil's dark path, despite her aid in turning him off of it. All of the work they had done to get to this point, with only one Star Map remaining to be found. Her face fell. _He hates me now, doubtless…_

"What is it, Lizzy?" Mission asked her. The young twi'lek's face was curious and concerned.

"Should _I_ tell them, or will you?" Carth said, folding his arms over his chest.

"Carth, you of all people should know this. I don't care what Malak or Saul said, that's just not who I am anymore!"

"Who aren't you? Whaaat?" Mission was getting more confused by the moment.

"What's going on, Elizabeth? Something you're not telling us…?" Canderous raised an eyebrow. Zaalbar released a questioning bleating sound.

"I'll tell them… Malak, he… He said that I'm Revan."

Mission gasped. "But how is that possible? Revan's dead!"

"No. Malak assaulted his ship. Bastila was a part of the team sent to capture Revan – me – and she kept me alive after his attack. Then the Jedi council wiped my memories as Revan and gave me a smuggler's identity."

"Whoa, you… Wow. But… But you're not Revan, now, are you? I mean, not evil?"

"Of course not, Mission! Why would we be on a quest to destroy a dark lord of I were?"

"Oh, I dunno. To reclaim your title and get revenge on your mutinous apprentice?" Carth said, scowling.

"Carth, I can't believe you would say that!" Mission shouted. Elizabeth blinked, startled. Mission looked at her. "You don't even remember being Revan, do you?"

"No, just those Star Map visions."

"Then it doesn't matter. I followed, and I'm friends with who you are now, and who you used to be doesn't matter at all – Me and Zaalbar will stick by you, right Big Z?

/Even without my life debt, I would follow you,/ Zaalbar said. /You have proven yourself to have a kind heart and a wookie's honor. You've helped my father, and me, and all the Wookies on Kashyyk, and for that I owe you twice over./

Elizabeth looked over her group of friends. "Canderous? Jolee? T3?"

"Didn't I tell you already? Good or evil, I'd follow you. Battles and honor trail behind you, and you're a damn good fighter, too – it's too bad, you would have made one hell of a Mandalorian." Canderous punctuated his short speech with a firm nod.

"I've seen a destiny in you that I haven't seen since Andor Vex hit Kraat's engine," Jolee said. "I want to see how this turns out. I do not doubt that there is great good in you, but there's no knowing where this path is going to take you, and this old coot wants to be there to find out."

T3 released a long string of whirrs and beeps that Elizabeth interpreted to mean something along the lines of "You're my master, and I will follow you. But you have shown kindness I have yet to see in many humans." Elizabeth smiled.

"Little guy wouldn't hold a grudge," Mission said, giving the droid a thumbs up.

"What about you, Juhani?"

"What can I say? You were my idol as a child, as you are a great inspiration to me now – you turned me from my dark path, so why should you not be able to turn from yours?" Juhani drawled in her lilting, feline voice.

"HK?"

"Statement: I am experiencing something strange, master."

"What is it?"

"It seems that the homing system deliberately restores my deleted memory core upon… Upon returning to my original master."

"_Revan_ was your original master?"

"Indeed. It seems you built me while you were still in power."

"Well, would you look at that," Mission said. "Don't see that kind of thing happening every day."

"We are dealing with the Force, here," Canderous said. "At this point Malak could drop from the sky into my lap and I wouldn't bat an eyelash."

"True."

"Well, HK? You don't think I'm like Revan, do you?"

"Observation: That does not matter, master. I am your droid, regardless of your actions or personality. Besides, you saved me from that terrible Yuka Laka. I still would like to crush his neck, master."

Elizabeth looked back to Carth, who was leaning against the cold walls of the _Hawk_, scowling. "Don't be such a big baby," she teased him, but he only glared at her. It was uncomfortably silent for a few moments. And the silence stretched. A few moments took the place of minutes. Many, many minutes. "…Carth?" she whispered. He looked up at her. "I'm not Revan anymore. You have to believe me."

"How can I? You're a god damned Sith Lord!"

"No! I'm not! I…" Tears budded in Elizabeth's eyes. She blinked them away and turned to her crew. "There's… There's still a chance Bastila can be saved. And if there's a way, we've got to try it. But it's doubtless Malak has her. Either we wander the galaxy and hope we bump into him, or we find the last Star Map, the Star Forge, and in turn, Malak and Bastila. C-Carth, fly us to Manaan. We've got one more map to find."

With that, the ex-Sith Lord walked with stiff shoulders to the starboard dormitory, curled up on her bunk, and focused all her will on not crying. She failed.

Carth watched her go and frowned. He'd made her _cry._ He was a gentleman, of sorts, and it did not sit with well with him that he'd made a woman cry. Even if she _was_ a former Sith Lord. He sighed and walked off to the cockpit, leaving the rest of the crew to their own designs.

He leaned back in his chair and sighed. All he knew or cared about at the moment was that they had been hunting so long for Malak, and they'd had his old master right along with them the entire time, listening to all of their plans and…Carth shuddered at the thought. His head hurt, and he really didn't feel like thinking about everything that had happened.

The _Hawk_ arrived on Manaan after sunset, so they retreated to their quarters for some hard-earned rest. But few on the crew could really sleep. Their thoughts all hung on the discovery of their leader's previous identity, and what it meant to them.

Carth in particular tossed and turned in his bed, completely unable to get comfortable. He grunted unhappily after adjusting himself for the hundredth time, then gave up and buried his face in his pillow. _It can't just go back al__l of the sudden. Not after this, _he thought. It was too weird. _Now I really feel like a fool. I'd opened up to her. I told her things I used to not even consider, not in a million years would I have thought I would have spoken to _anyone_ about. I was getting buddy-buddy with a _Sith Lord!

Canderous dealt with inability to sleep in different ways. He got up and went to the swoop bay, where he greeted HK-47 and proceeded to spar with him. If it was not the rhythmic motions of battle, it was the utter fatigue tat overcame him after one that was the Mandalorian's perfect lullaby. And HK was an amusing sparring partner.

"Statement: Oh, I wish all meatbags shared your love of killing. The galaxy would be far more entertaining that way…" HK mused as he blocked a swipe from Canderous's vibroblade.

"Sure, it would be. And the Mandalorian Wars would have been longer, that's for sure. Too many weak planets willing to run and scream and die without fighting back."

"Depressed Confirmation: It makes the death so much quicker. There is no fun in that, despite my love of screams ringing through my audio receptors."

"I've gotta say, droid, you're much better with a blaster."

"Agreement: With which the better to splatter the guts of your enemies gloriously across a room."

"Hey."

Canderous turned around and HK paused in his unsuccessful attacks. Elizabeth stood in the door to the swoop bay, shivering – she was only wearing her soldier underwear. Her black hair was in a mussed-up ponytail.

"R-Revan?" Canderous stuttered. He wasn't used to seeing her like this. He shook himself and regained control. "What in the hell are you doing up?"

"I could ask you the same thing. But you woke me up. HK wasn't quite silent either." She threw a lopsided grin in the droid's direction.

Canderous shrugged. "It helps me get to sleep."

"Why couldn't you sleep?"

The Mandalorian tensed up. "I don't ask _you_ personal questions." Elizabeth was startled. It was like he suddenly threw up stone walls. His face was hard and unreadable. "Just because I told you some old war stories doesn't mean we're best friends."

"Oh, I'm sorry, I guess. I didn't know it was personal…"

"It is. And I don't need your concern."

Elizabeth was silent for a moment, then she spoke up, rather angrily. "You don't have to act like such a lone wolf all the time! Everyone gets lonely sometimes. A little bit of human contact wouldn't kill you!"

"Mandalorians don't need _anyone_," Canderous shot back, glaring at her. HK was watching with what would be a droid equivalent of an amused grin.

"If you don't need anyone, then why should you care what other people do or think? Why should it matter to you if you tell me why you can't sleep!? Something that small shouldn't matter anyway!"

"You're the most damn persistent woman I've ever met!"

"Yeah. I've heard that before." Elizabeth hunched up her shoulders and stared at the floor.

Canderous was almost knocked breathless by realization at his own stupidity. _Dam__m__it. I should have known better. You're too old for this, anyway. __Too old for this…_

He looked over at her, so slight, so delicate, and he doubted this woman could ever have been a Sith Lord. Especially the one that felled the Mandalorians. But she was. The clues were all over, but no one had seen them.

_Mandalorians don't need anyone._

"I…" Canderous started. Then he laughed a little. "I'm a damn terrible Mandalorian."

Elizabeth looked up at him. "Why?"

In a few steps, before she knew what was happening, he was there in front of her, his strong arms wrapped around her. His body was pressed against hers, and in his gestures she could feel his hunger for this – lust more than care, but the caring was there.

"Because I need you," Canderous said, more of a sigh than anything else. With that he tilted her head up and kissed her.

Carth grunted once more as he got up from his bunk, figuring a walk around the _Hawk_ couldn't hurt. He stretched his legs and began walking quietly, barefoot, across the cold metal floor, not even noticing Canderous's empty bunk.

He stopped first in the cockpit, moving his hands over the familiar controls. Born to be a pilot, they'd said, a natural. Not seen one better. For a ship, perhaps, but piloting ships? It was one of the easiest and least important of things to know how to steer, and which way. Carth looked out the windows at the empty Manaan hangar, quiet as a graveyard save the splashing of the endless ocean against the foundation on which Ahto City had been built.

Elizabeth pulled away from the kiss in moments. She _had_ enjoyed it, but she knew it was just because she was lonely. She felt distant from everyone in the crew, lately, regardless of their kind words. "Canderous, what are you _doing_? You know that… That…"

"That you love Carth? Yes."

"But I don't-"

"You'll figure it out," he interrupted her. People did that a lot lately. "But I'll be damned if this old heart," Canderous gestured to his chest, "will ever know any sort of affection again. Will yours?"

_Odd question_, she thought. "I feel like I really screwed up," Elizabeth sighed, deciding to let up and tell him a bit. He'd shared enough with her to make up for this at least, even if what he had shared had been worthless share material to him. "Like it's all my fault, somehow."

"Consciences are nasty things. But there's not a whole lot one can do about them."

"Funny thing to say for someone who doesn't seem to have one," Elizabeth teased him, then sobered up seconds later. "I want it to be okay again. I know he hates me now. He has every right to, but –"

"What in hell gave you that idea?"

"I… I've _been_ a terrible person, regardless of if I am now. Who's to say I won't be again."

"I am. You're _not_ Revan anymore, and you know just how abhorrent it is to me to be talking to the mastermind that defeated my people, but _not_."

Elizabeth smiled. "But you still call me Revan."

"A man can dream."

"You dream of things other than honor in battle, Canderous? Impressive. Will you show mercy to an opponent, next?"

"Don't push it, girl," Canderous said, but he was grinning. He still had a hand on the wall behind Elizabeth's head. He wondered for a moment if he would kiss her again, just one last kiss. He _didn't_ give a damn what most people thought, especially Carth, whiny Republic lackey as he was.

Neither Elizabeth nor Canderous noticed Mission watching the entire display from behind a doorframe, wide-eyed, upset. Nor did either notice as Carth walked in while Canderous stooped for his last kiss, as he stepped back, walked away, ever so quietly.

Elizabeth broke the kiss again. "Canderous!" she said, borderlining threat.

"All right, all right, cool your jets, girl. I'm satisfied now, anyway."

Elizabeth glared at him. "I don't get you."

The Mandalorian backed away and smirked at her. "I think that's for the best," he said, before retreating to the port dormitory. Elizabeth watched him go, thoroughly confused, then went back to her bunk, exhausted and troubled, while Mission scurried back to her own bunk and pretended to sleep.

* * *

Author Comments: Bad Candyman! But... This won't be the last we'll hear from him. -evil cackle-  
Whoops! That there was a spoiler, wasn't it. 


	3. The Proverbial Fist Fight

Elizabeth stepped out of the shadow of the _Ebon Hawk_ and into the crisp sunlight of Manaan. The white paneling and build glittered in the light and made spots dance before her eyes. She shielded them with one hand before they began to hurt, her other hand clutching her lightsaber.

Carth and Jolee stepped out behind her. They got into Ahto city (for an annoying fee) and were not there long before they were interrupted. _Just_ beyond her bafflement at the Sith and Republic coexisting, Elizabeth was faced with a desperate, pleading woman rambling about her husband and a murder and a trial.

Then she turned to Jolee and her face lit up in recognition. "Jolee! You are Sunry's friend! You _have_ to help him, Jolee! He hasn't done anything, he's _innocent_, I tell you!"

After relaying the story to Jolee of Sunry's false accusation and the trial and evidence, Elizabeth held the sobbing woman and attempted to soothe her. "We will help," she said. "Don't worry. We will prove your husband innocent."

Carth watched her gentle movements, and saw in them that she truly wanted to ease this woman's worries. Then he saw her arms around Canderous, grimaced, and quickly hid it. He didn't like this woman. At all. And he certainly didn't care if she threw herself at the mangy blood-crazed Mandalorian assface. Not even a little.

They got the details from Sunry after signing on to be his arbiter at the trial, and went off to search the hotel the murder happened at. Carth watched as Elizabeth somehow got each of those involved to open up to her, to tell her what they knew, and to what purpose?

_She's just easy to talk to. Makes you want to let out all your troubles to her. __To ease down…_ Carth thought, watching her bend down to inspect the scene of the crime. _To… to…_His thoughts trailed off for a moment. He caught himself staring at her and snapped his focus back to the task at hand.

Carth thought for a short while about the situation. "Isn't it a bit obvious for his pin to just, y'know, be there?" he finally said. "Wouldn't he be just a _little_ more careful if he were going to murder someone?"

Elizabeth straightened. "Exactly. It could have been planted," she said, "and it probably was. Probably by the Sith. But if they knew it happened, why didn't they stop it? And why frame Sunry, of all people?"

"He's old, after all. What can old farts like us do but complain?" Jolee said, and huffed out a short laugh. "Something I enjoy quite a lot."

"Really? I never would have guessed," Carth said sarcastically, arching a brow in the older man's direction. Elizabeth giggled but quickly stopped herself, and Jolee frowned at him.

"Whatcha gonna do about it, sonny? Those damned Selkath peace laws will have you in a cell with Sunry in seconds."

"Is that a threat, old man? Ha ha…" Carth shook his head at Jolee, who reluctantly smiled.

"You know it."

They spent a fair part of the day looking for evidence pointing to either side of the trial, and had just enough time left to be caught up in two Selkaths' concerned requests and a short verbal brawl between a few Sith and Republic soldiers. Never had they an uninteresting day.

The group finally got back to the _Ebon Hawk_ for a night's rest, but again, few would rest that night.

Mission confronted Elizabeth as soon as Juhani's breaths became even in the way of sleep. She crawled over to the other girl's bunk and nudged her shoulder, a fierce scowl on her face. Elizabeth opened her eyes and started, unprepared for Mission's presence, her stinging glare. "Mission, wha-?"

"Why did you do it?" she hissed.

"Mission, do what? What are you talking about?"

"Kiss Canderous! You let him. Even if you didn't do it yourself – are you _that_ disloyal? Who'll you kiss next, _Zaalbar_?! Should I tell him to brush his teeth more, for you?"

"Mission, you don't understand, I-"

"Why, because I'm just a kid?"

"Wait, you know I-"

"That's all anyone _ever_ thinks of me. Just a little snot-nosed kid who don't know anything. I know what I saw."

"Mission! I pushed him away! If you saw, you saw that. And you should know Carth trusts _Canderous _more than me at this point."

"Yeah. Sure. Whatever. I've lost respect for you. _A lot_ of respect."

"If you don't want people to think of you as a kid then don't act like one! Believe me, I _don't_ have _any_ feelings for Canderous. And… And Carth is just a friend, anyway. He's still, y'know, hurting. He lost a lot."

Mission sighed and sat cross-legged by Elizabeth's bunk. "People get better. Hurts don't last forever. Taris is gone. Griff's a slimeball. Those hurt. And now I'm okay with it. A man, a soldier, older than me, and in four years, wouldn't get over it?"

"People heal in different ways, Mission, and for different times. And it was his wife dead, Mission. Do you love anyone? Past family love? So very, very dearly… And then by a terrible twist of fate, you had them ripped away from you, before your very eyes?"

"N-no. I suppose not. That _would_ be… hard to recover from. But before he found out, y'know, he looked at you. A lot. I'm not much into old people romance but I'm pretty sure that means somethin'."

Elizabeth frowned sadly. Her eyebrows linked in the middle of her head with a sad concern. "No. Not in these circumstances." Then she shook the expression off her face and laughed quietly. "Listen to me, I'm getting as preachy as Bastila! I needa lay off the angst for a while." She paused, continued. "Mission, we should go to bed. The trial is tomorrow, we need to be well rested."

"Hold on. What do you think of the trial?"

"Well… Sunry… He's guilty. He did kill the woman. In cold blood. And she _was_ evil, but it was still horrible and wrong. He's not a saint by any meaning of the word, but he's old, and he won't just keep on slaughtering Sith left and right – and he _will_ be killed if found guilty. I told his wife I would help him, but I can't without feeling like justice wasn't done. Like I let a killer roam the streets. It _would_ be letting a killer roam the streets."

"Wow. You shoulder some heavy burdens, you know that? I'd crack in your situation. I know I would. You're real strong. Despite how ya look."

"Hey, what's that supposed to mean?!" she said, none too quietly, as Mission scampered back to her own bed, a grin on her face.

Meanwhile, Canderous was up again, halfheartedly sparring with the rust-red assassin droid. His thoughts wandered to the kisses, but less often the more times he let them wander. Maybe he really was satisfied.

Carth stepped into the room, fully dressed. Canderous dropped his blade and turned to face the pilot, scowling. "What are you doing here?" He grunted.

"Probably the same as you. What's sleep worth, anyway, eh…" Carth replied with a bitter smile.

"You might as well wander off, Republic Lackey, unless you intend to fight me. Human spar partners are much better than droids."

"Offended statement: Your words hurt me, meatbag!" HK shouted. Canderous ignored him.

"Why not," Carth whispered. Canderous pondered the amount of emotion thickening his voice. Not being the most familiar with strong emotions other than hate and excitement, he shrugged it off.

"I've been waiting for this a long time, you know that? I won't hold back."

"Yeah. I know. Don't."

"Cautious Inquiry: You don't intend to kill him, do you, Mandalorian? You know the master would not approve."

"Yeah, yeah, I know, droid. I won't kill him."

"To please her?" Carth said, just loud enough for Canderous to hear. That took it too far. Mostly feelingless as he was, Canderous felt an inexplicable need to defend Elizabeth from Carth's silly notions about her, from his unfounded hatred and mistrust. The Mandalorian threw a punch at Carth's gut.

Carth dodged, and aimed for a hook to the chin, but Canderous threw him from his feet with a swift kick to the knees. He rolled aside just in time for Canderous's elbow to connect with a loud clang to the metal where Carth's head had been only moments before. They weren't yelling, though they were grunting quite a lot and they made a good amount of noise hitting the metal floor and walls of the swoop bay a fair number of times. HK had to step back to avoid being barreled over, twice.

The fight didn't last very long. It was a wonder that Elizabeth was not woken by them, though. She might've stopped them.

But as she didn't, Canderous eventually got the better of Carth, his being bigger and more accustomed to hand-to-hand combat. Carth had fatigued quickly and missed more punches, dodged fewer. Before long, Canderous had him pinned to the ground, his nose bleeding, his cheeks swollen, his body bruised and beaten. Canderous hit him several times in the face before finally calming down.

"I just don't know," Canderous said, breathing hard from exhilaration. "I can't figure it out, and I don't think I ever will."

"What…?" Carth breathed, despite his current state. His voice was weak and cracking. And he didn't quite like the Mandalorian's hot breath puffing in his face every few seconds.

"What in the hell she sees in you," Canderous replied as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "You're _pathetic_, Mr. _Soldier._" Canderous got up off of Carth and walked back to the port dormitory with little to show for the fight, and promptly fell asleep, leaving Carth bleeding on the floor of the swoop bay with an annoyed HK who wished he had done it himself.

Carth didn't try to get up. He didn't try to move. He thought, maybe he was wrong. He'd been wrong about things before. Maybe he should give up being so stubborn, just this once. He resolved, finally, to think about it. No need to rush.

**,.-::-.,.-::-.,.-::-.,.-::-.,.-::-.,**

Elizabeth did not want to go to the trial. She wanted to curl up on her bunk and cry, as soon as she saw Carth's face.

He'd opened his eyes the next day (barely able to) to see her leaning over him, as he had that first day on Taris, when he'd introduced himself as the paranoid pilot and tossed away the idea that saving her life was a big deal.

"Force, Carth, you look like crap…" Elizabeth said quietly.

"Just what I wanted to hear," he replied, a spark of humor in his weak voice.

"You, I… I'm sorry Canderous did this. I would have-"

"Don't apologize."

"But I-"

"Just don't." _I deserved it._

_And look at that, I'm whining even now. _Carth closed his eyes as if that would hide it from her. He hated it. He knew he looked awful, and he hated it, and he didn't like himself so much at the time, either.

But some stubborn part in him still insisted on maintaining his dignity. He did not like this woman. She was good, sure. Skilled. He'd worked with plenty of women like that. Like… Like Admiral Dodonna. He mentally forced himself to put a distance between them.

Carth's head began to hurt, the room spinning around him. He had been hit in the face a _lot_, after all. "Just… leave. Please. Revan."

She sighed left the med bay without a word. It was still there, the bitterness in his voice. What reason had _he_ to call her Revan? He especially?

_But the day must go on,_ Elizabeth thought miserably. _At least he won't have to watch as a Republic veteran is… __Is sent to his death._ She gathered up Mission and Jolee and left the _Hawk_.

* * *

Author Comments: Flyboy got his butt whooped. :( -huggleclings Carth- Poor, poor Flyboy. 


	4. Considerations

Sunry lost the trial, obviously. On the side of the courtroom floor, the Sith that had attended had cruel grins painted on their faces, obviously pleased that Elizabeth had proven her own client guilty - She had to resist the urge to spit at them. Their overwhelming bloodlust disgusted her. Maybe, deep inside her, agreeing to infiltrate their base was to give her a peaceful sense of revenge taken.

_Canderous __isn't __the on__ly one terrible at being who he's __supposed to be, _Elizabeth thought while they broke in to the Sith Base._There is no emotion: there is peace, eh? __Did I miss that lesson? It doesn't__ count if __I use__ it for __good, __though,__ right? But revenge _isn't_ good..._

The angel and devil waged a nuclear war on her shoulders as she and her companions plowed through the Sith base, convinced some hormonal teenage Selkath they were following evil, and collected a datapad detailing highly incriminating information about the Sith and their plans. _What kind of evil anything keeps all their evil plans on a datapad that's not very well guarded?_ Elizabeth thought.

And then, surprise, surprise! The moment they left the Base, the Selkath Court accused them of disturbing the peace. Mission began to think they would go on trial if she moved her head-tails in the wrong way, and for saying so she earned a warning glance from the cold, beady eyes. "Stupid fish-heads…" she grumbled.

The datapad from the base bailed them out and they left with the amused knowledge that they had earned a nice record with the fishy courthouse. They cleared up the worries of a Selkath father, then reported to the Republic base.

"Good job," Roland Wann said, taking the datapad from Elizabeth's outstretched hand. "Now we have what we need to finally get the upper hand, here."

"Glad I could assist the Republic," Elizabeth said, nodding. It was truer than she knew at that point. "What about the Star Map?"

"We don't know much about that. But there _was_ something down there. Either way, you've got to do something else for us."

"I… don't like the sound of that." _Translates to: Oh jee__z__, what now?_

"There's something else down there," he said, his voice grim. "And it doesn't like us. You see, we built a station by the Hrakert Rift to harvest the kolto, you know, for the war efforts. And that something decided it didn't like it. There was a noise, like a scream, the researchers told us on the comm., right before it went out. We've sent several mercenary parties down there, but none of them came back, and unless you find out what's going on, it's not likely you'll last long down there either."

"Sounds _great_," Jolee said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "Any other ray of sunshine you'd like to give us?"

"Whatever's down there, that made that noise, it's big. _Very_ big. We have a sub for you to get down to the station, but we've lost all communication it. Once you're down, you're on your own."

"We will try and go tomorrow, but I can't promise that… And thank you, Mr. Wann." Elizabeth bowed shortly.

"No, Jedi, thank _you_." Roland waved goodbye as they left the Republic enclave.

Upon going over the proposition to the crew, Carth was the first to speak up, up from his bed and leaning on the navicomputer, likely to fall if he didn't. "There's no way you're going alone. Who knows what could be down there?"

"Are you suggesting that _you_ go?" Canderous gazed over at him, a cruel half-grin on his face.

"I don't know. But she sure as hell isn't going alone."

"Query: Are you suggesting that the master is not capable of defending herself, meatbag?"

"No, of course not, but that doesn't mean it's not dangerous to go alone. It's hundreds of feet below waters infested with firaxan sharks, and then there's _whatever_ it is that's not happy with the station, and we don't even know what else could down there – who_ could_ go alone and survive?"

"He makes a good point, Lizzy," Mission said. "I wanna come."

"What – Mission!?" Carth said, standing up straighter. "You were very helpful on Taris because you knew the place, but… We wouldn't want to put you in danger."

"'Cus I'm a kid, right? I can't defend myself? And _you_ can, in the state you're in?"

"I vote we let him go," Canderous said. "That way we won't be missing much if something... _unfortunate_ happens."

"Canderous!" Elizabeth said, then let out an exasperated sigh. "Juhani, would you like to come?"

"With all due respect, I would rather not go… So far under_water_." Juhani said.

"Jolee?"

"Well, don't fall over yourself to beg me, eh? I'll go, I'll go. But maybe we should hold it off until Carth can, too. Droids don't fare so well under leagues of water pressure."

"No one does, Jolee. So, Carth, do you want to come?" Elizabeth looked to Carth and focused on draining all emotion and expression from her face.

"Are you sure the _Mandalorian_ doesn't want to?" Carth hissed, and Elizabeth flushed.

"I'm out. I don't like this planet above water, I won't like it below. Looks like it's all you, Republic."

Carth sighed. "Alright. Guess I'll go, then."

"What!? Lizzy, I wanted to go!"

Zaalbar nudged her. /Maybe you can try to teach me Pazaak again, Mission./

"What, you'll let me?! Can I give you a haircut, too?"

/Don't push it, Mission./

"Alright, alright. Come on, Big Z." The twi'lek grabbed Zaalbar's furry arm and pulled him away from the group.

"How long until you think you'll be okay to go, Carth?" Elizabeth asked, looking over him, re-assessing his injuries.

"Ah, two… two or three days, maybe. Won't be in top condition, but I can handle myself."

"You know you can't bring your blasters, right? They could damage the station, let water in."

"Yeah, I know."

"Good. Just tell me when you're ready, then." With that, she went off to the cockpit to check the systems. Carth limped back to the makeshift one-bed med bay.

Elizabeth was fiddling with the controls, sighing at the thought that it was Carth's chair she was sitting in, when Jolee walked in. She swiveled around in her chair and regarded him with a questioning look, her legs up Indian-style on the chair.

"I know it's not my business what you young people do," he said, "But whatever's going on has Carth sleeping in _my_ bed and the tension on this ship has the air smelling worse than the inside of a bantha's mouth!"

"I still don't get why you sleep in the med bay."

"And I don't get why you young people are so self-obsessive, but hey."

"You know what's going on, Jolee. You said you were on the ship to see just what happens. If it were more obvious it would be smacking you in the face with a stun baton."

"Don't you back talk me, missy, just tell me what you see of the matter."

"Carth hates me. End of story. There really isn't anything else to see."

"Is that all? Aren't you being a little short-sighted? Don't Jedi try and see from every side of the situation?"

"There's nothing to look at! He hates me, I was evil, he's got good reason to mistrust me – that's it."

"Usually it's _you_ pestering _me_ with endless questions."

"I don't have any back-in-the-day stories, sorry. Do you want a hug instead?"

"Not a chance, girl. Bah, you've tired me out with your excuses and stubbornness."

"I always tire you out."

"Young people are always annoying! It's not my fault! But fine, if you're going to be thick-headed, I guess I'll just leave you here."

"Jolee, you know that's not… I'm sorry. I just don't want to talk about it."

Jolee's eyes softened, doubling the number of wrinkles on his face. "It's alright, I understand. Love would be a touchy subject, eh? Ah, to be young again-"

"It's _not _love!"

"Like I said. Touchy – well, g'bye."

"Jolee, wait, I – eugh! He makes me so _frustrated_!"

"That's _so_ Jedi-like of you," Mission interjected, having slunk into the room seconds after Jolee had left.

"You're already done with Zaalbar?"

"That big furball just can't work with numbers." Mission shook her head disappointedly as she took a seat on the floor by Elizabeth. "What's going on? I heard you yellin' at the crotchety old man."

"You know. Weather, food, dark lords, pleasant things like that."

"It was Carth, hmm?"

"Em. No."

"You need to talk to him, some time. You can't just avoid him forever. We're workin' together here."

"I talked to him a few minutes ago, about whether he'd go with us-"

"You know that doesn't count!"

"I need to stop letting myself be interrupted."

"Maybe so." Mission grinned. "You know what you gotta do." Then she got up and left.

"Nah. I think I'll wait for him," Elizabeth said to the empty air, then she sighed. "I get _no_ peace on this ship." _Maybe on top of it will be quieter._ So she climbed up the ladder to the hull and settled herself next to one of the blaster turrets. The sun had already gone down, leaving the hangar silent and dark and cold. It was almost creepy, but at least it was quiet. Elizabeth rested her back on the cool and reassuring surface of the ship.

They had come so far in their mission, but everything was still unclear to her. _We don't even know what the Star Forge is yet, what its purpose is. We don't know what's waiting for us under the water… I don't even know if what I'm doing is right. __Or if this is the best way to help the Republic.__ There are certainly __other ways._

_Of course it would end the war. But there are billions of other threats out there and nothing is being done about them, and the Republic holds many evils, too. Granted, not as many as the __Sith__, but perhaps it would be best to serve neither side…?_

_…But wouldn't that be like doing nothing at all? Inaction was not the best choice of the Jedi Council, but it is what got me – us – here where we are today… But if the Jedi had acted, wouldn't Revan and Malak still have found the Forge? __What if…_

Footsteps behind her head, irregular footsteps, tore Elizabeth from her thoughts. She pushed herself into sitting position and looked behind her.

Carth was there, using a vibroblade as a support, looking exhausted. And rather angry, too.

_"You had better tell that girl you're sorry. She didn't do anything to deserve so much anger from you."_

She _didn't, no… But my damned conscience did make me climb up a ladder – for her - after taking a beating - for her – for insulting _her. _So yeah.__ I'm not in the greatest mood at the moment._

"Carth? You, you climbed up – you should be resting. What are you doing up here?" Elizabeth scrambled to get up and took a step towards him, intending to replace the vibroblade as a support, but he held up his free arm to stop her.

_I'm still terrible at apologies. Make it quick and painless, Carth._ "I'm sorry, Revan."

"W-what for?"

Carth looked flustered for a moment. He hadn't planned to elaborate. Then the cold look reappeared. "Well, you know. Making you… cry like that. Not something a… Grown man should do. I lost my temper."

Elizabeth blushed. He'd seen. _Not that it wasn't, y'know, obvious,_ she mentally smacked herself. "N-no, it was childish of me. They didn't mean anything." She stared at the ship for a moment, trying to make her thoughts out. Then something hit her. "Hey, did Jolee put you up to this?"

Carth laughed a little, then wheezed and held his sides. Elizabeth jerked towards him to try to help but he waved her away again. "He really is a nosy old man, isn't he?"

Elizabeth smiled a little, despite the equivocal nature of his apology. "Of course he is. He just wouldn't be Jolee if he weren't." It was silent for a few seconds. "Do… do you need help back down?"

She _doesn't want me up here. __Wonderful.__ I should have figured._ "No. But you probably shouldn't stay up here too much longer, you'll catch a cold."

"I won't."

Carth, when he finally got back to his bed, thought hard about the events that had transpired that evening. First off, she hadn't cared. The tears didn't mean anything. He'd just made a fool of himself. But if she didn't care, then it wouldn't matter. Then he figured now was as good a time as any to start thinking hard about what had happened.

So, no... It wasn't her who destroyed his homeworld. It was Saul. And it was Malak who gave the order, not her. She did not kill his wife, she even saved his son. But she did slaughter countless people, good, innocent people. And she was the reason a startlingly high amount of Jedi fell to the Dark Side.

_What if…__ What if Revan comes back? Is that saying she isn't there now? She's been nothing but charitable and resourceful for all the time I've know her. But it could all be a lie._

_…I cried for the first time in years after I told her I'd forgotten __Morgana's__ face. __But not in front of her._

_Never in front of her._

_Why?_

_…Because I wanted her to think of me as strong. __Because I wanted to protect her.__ But… can I protect her from herself? I'm just a stubborn Republic soldier. Like I could ever have any say in what she does. __But…__ I… __Can't hate her.__ I can't blame her for what she's done. Hell, I want to, I need to blame _someone_. Saul is dead, now. But it wasn't enough. And what am I going to do once we've found the Forge? Provided I survive that long?_

_Ugh, I'm such a stubborn fool. It's been obvious since I met her. She couldn't hide her nature if she tried. Revan just… Just isn't a part of her anymore. I should have realized that before __I__… __Augh__, damn it all!_

_…How can I make this right?_

Elizabeth went down a few minutes after he did, near to fuming. He'd only done it because Jolee told him to. He wasn't sorry, he didn't care – he was… He was as cold and insensitive as the Selkath Court. _And he sure would make a fine fish-head,_ she thought, returning to her bed not quite stomping, but with some definite power in her footstep. Then she sighed and hid her face in her pillow.

_I really am childish. Stomping around and crying at the tiniest thing. It's a miracle I made it this far. I'll likely die at Malak's hand, if not before. Everything we did will have been pointless._

_And who am I fooling, anyway? I can't hate him. I could never hate him. He's just too damn cute, even when he's angry at me. __Even if I hate it when he's angry at me.__ I'm not supposed to hate things though, am __I._

A final sigh left her lips as she turned over and fell into an uneasy sleep, her thoughts troubling her throughout the night.

* * *

Author Comments: The last line doesn't sound like a cheesy 80's movie title. You have Agharo to thank for that. 

Oooh, poor Elizabeth! But poor Carth, too. Big tough man with little-to-no friends aboard the ship. He got beat up, and still old men are pestering him and everyone's ignoring him and being cold and awful. GIVE THE FLYBOY SOME LOVE, PEOPLE!! If he can forgive Revan for being Revan, than you can forgive him for being whiney.


	5. Going Under

A few days later, Elizabeth, Jolee, and Carth stood outside the Republic submersible, each somewhat annoyed. The submersible was 2-passenger with a small storage area, but the seats were cramped, and Carth was a bit tall for his. His head bumped the plastiglass dome atop it when it closed, and his arm was pressed uncomfortably against Elizabeth's side. Jolee wouldn't stop complaining about his humiliating position, as well as his apparent new status as "cargo".

Grenn waved goodbye as the submersible began to sink. Water bobbed up around the dome and finally closed over it, and just watching that made Elizabeth sick to the stomach.

The ride passed in relative silence, after Jolee ceased his complaints, and the tension was nearly palpable. Carth shifted in the little space he had to, and Elizabeth simply stared at her hands, neatly folded in her lap.

The slow whoosh of the water over the sub wasn't as soothing as it might've been. In fact, it rather played on Elizabeth's nerves. It felt like it was whispering to her. Whispering of who'd gone down here and not come back, whispering over and over, her fear that _she_ wouldn't come back. She knew she was just being paranoid, but knowing that couldn't silence an ocean.

Something bumped against the hull of the sub and Elizabeth jumped in her seat, closing her eyes – something was out there, likely a firaxan shark… What would they do to the ship? But then she felt arms around her, warm and comforting, and she thought she might be home again. When she was a child, on Deralia, when her mother would hold her all night when there were storms… But those were fake memories, weren't they?

She opened her eyes to find it was Carth holding her, and she, clinging to his arms. She pulled away from him, blushing furiously, and turned to stare out the window. Carth nearly smacked himself on the head.

_Stupid, stupid, stupid!_ He thought. _You know she's angry at you._ He paused and looked at her, making her best effort to distance herself from him, but their legs were still touching. He admired for a moment how slim she was, and about a head shorter than him, and how well she seemed to fit in his arms…

_No! I'm only thinking this way because… Because…_ He sighed. _It's been lonely. I don't exactly have friends on the ship. __And since __Morgana__ died…_

_I… I've just been such an idiot…_

He looked out too. All he could see was what the lights on the front of the sub illuminated – dark shapes swimming away from their field of vision, blue, blue, and more dark, endless blue. And almost black where there were no lights.

After what seemed like forever in an unimaginably uncomfortable silence, the submersible bobbed up in the docking bay of the underwater lab station. Like most places on Manaan, it was eerily silent save the irritatingly rhythmic sloshing of water. The small party got out and stretched their aching limbs, and Elizabeth took a look around the place.

It was pointedly empty, save a few plasteel crates, with another surfacing area and a single door, which opened moments after the party had gotten adjusted. A frantic twi'lek man rushed out, grabbing Jolee's shoulders and shaking enough to break them, and Jolee told him so, not without a fair degree of impatience.

"You're the mercs they sent down here, right? You know they sent you to your _death_!? They've all gone mad! Killing, killing everyone, and… E-eating…" The twi'lek stuttered and shook and cast around frantic glances. Elizabeth made an attempt to calm him.

"Slow down, and please, just tell us what's going on?" She said, patting his back.

"It was that sound. T-that terrible noise, then all the Selkath, they went insane! They killed and ate all the scientists, all the mercs that went in there, but I escaped, I sealed the door! But there's no chance to leave! Not a chance! We'll all die!!"

"Hold up," Carth said, gesturing with a hand for him to stop. "Why can't we leave?"

"It got to the last sub. Destroyed it. They're firaxan food, now! All of them!" The twi'lek let out a nervous laugh. "But not me. Not that it's worth anything, aheh…"

"What if there are survivors?" asked Elizabeth. She turned to Carth and Jolee. "We have to go in. If for nothing else but an envirosuit."

"Survivors, hah! They'll all be fish food by now! As for the suit, you won't survive seconds in open water! The sharks have all gone berserk!"

"I'm tired of listening to this kook," Jolee grunted. "Let's just go."

"You can't! You'll let them in! They'll kill us all!" The twi'lek shook his head vigorously and glared at Jolee, looking almost as if he were about to throw himself at him.

"We have to. We can't let some psychotic fish-heads stop what we're doing," Elizabeth said, then sighed. "Let's go." She took out her lightsaber and headed towards the next chamber.

"You're all crazy! Dead and crazy!" the twi'lek hollered after them. Elizabeth smiled a little as she imagined what Mission's response would've been. _"Yeah, well look __who's__talkin__', __poo__-doo for brains!"_ She was glad she hadn't brought Mission along, brash as she was. She wouldn't know what she'd do with herself if she'd let Mission get hurt.

The first corridor was empty and quiet, with a security console at the end of it, sparking a little. _This thing's definitely seen better days,_ Elizabeth thought. She spliced it and tried to bring up the camera menu. The screen blacked out and she kicked the console. It blinked back to life. She brought up the camera for observation lab 1.

As the picture flickered to the screen, Elizabeth thought she would vomit. She knew she had killed a lot of things, much as she wished she hadn't, but what she saw was repulsive. She covered her mouth and quickly looked away, closing the camera and opening up the main options.

Carth and Jolee stepped up behind her as she reviewed the status of the envirosuits. There were two left. One had half a tank full of oxygen, the other nearer to an eighth. Elizabeth's breath caught.

"Shit," Carth said quietly, and Jolee glared at him, looking personally offended. Carth glared right back.

"So, what are we going to do?" Carth asked Elizabeth, turning back to her.

"I… I don't know," came her quiet response. "I would say I could just go out there alone, but what can we do about the firaxans?"

"Not a chance," Carth said, and Elizabeth turned around.

"What?"

"Not. A. Chance. If we won't let you go down here alone, facing up to that absurdly tiny sub, then we sure as hell aren't letting you go somewhere even _more_ dangerous, alone. There are two suits."

"Two oxygen-challenged suits! We could combine the two air tanks, provided we get to the suits. It would be safer for all of us."

"No! You're our only chance of getting to Malak, and I'm sure as hell not letting you die now! You're _not_ going alone. End of story."

They glared at each other for a minute, the sparks flying nearly visible, then turned their backs on each other with an audible huff.

"Stubborn fools," Jolee said, hitting them both over the head with the hilt of his 'saber.

"Ow!"

"Ouch, hey!" Carth rubbed his head and threw Jolee a death stare.

"Save it, sonny. How are we supposed to do anything without getting past the crazy Selkath, anyhow? You're all thinking too far ahead. Deal with it when it comes."

"I swear, old man, one day…" Carth took his hand down and sighed impatiently. "So let's get going already."

Elizabeth looked worriedly at the doors as they approached them, admittedly frightened, no, terrified at what lay beyond them. But she stuck her chest out, lit her lightsaber, and walked on anyway.

,.-::-.,.-::-.,.-::-.,.-::-.,.-::-.,

Twelve rooms full of crazed fish and malfunctioning droids later, Elizabeth was soaked to the bone and freezing in her Jedi robes. She was shuddering nearly as much as the twi'lek had been, and Carth and Jolee didn't look a whole lot better. Surprisingly Jolee wasn't complaining about it being bad for his bones to shake so much.

She just kept the thought in her head that after the envirosuits were found, they could get to the Star Map and leave the place. But the lack of any survivors dampened – forgive the pun – her hopes severely.

The lab station was like a maze, room after room after room, an endless tunnel of leaky ceilings and dead bodies and _no envirosuits._ It was almost driving Elizabeth crazy. If she didn't get out of the cold now, she didn't know what she'd do.

But suddenly she felt a jacket on her shoulders, and turned to find Carth had given his to her, leaving him in only a clingy, damp black shirt. She shook her head and tried to give it back to him, but he pushed her hand away. To her great surprise, and some small dismay, Jolee said nothing. No one said anything since they'd got in, really. It was terribly uncomfortable.

Elizabeth shrugged on the orange jacket and she immediately felt warmer. It was soft and moved easily with her, and it smelled like Carth did, like warmth and soap, and a little like his cologne. She could see why he wore it so often. She felt like she'd robbed him of something.

But now that she was warmer, her spirits raised a little. Her step was quicker, more confident. The group soon found themselves in an observation lab. It consisted of walls lined with computers, and a huge plastiglass window, bent over and merging with the ceiling halfway. The view out of it was breathtaking, but terrifying.

An even six huge firaxan sharks, each easily the size of a landspeeder, swarmed uneasily by the window. Beyond them lay miles upon uncharted miles of kolto forests and the dark blue of the deepest parts of the ocean. Elizabeth also noticed a caved-in area of the station, now filled with water, and a part cut off from the main station by the cave-in. By that part was a great, black, yawning gap in the planet, as if nothing had ever existed there – the Hrakert Rift.

Elizabeth didn't have long to look, her hands pressed to the cold plastiglass, her breath creating a patch of fog.

_Boom._

The floor beneath her feet, and the plastiglass, began to rumble. The reason? The firaxans, swirling around frantically and ramming their thick heads onto the plastiglass.

_Boom._

Already there was a long, thin crack forming on its surface…

"Oh, crap…" Elizabeth muttered, taking a step back.

_Boom._

"RUN!" she screeched, spinning around and running for the nearest exit, just in time to hear the window crack and split with the most unnerving bending noise. She didn't have time to check on her companions before a cold wave of water came crashing around her feet.

Jolee was immediately swept off his feet by the impact of the water. Carth was there, thankfully, and grasped the old man's wrist, then helped him up and got a hold of the doorframe. He pulled Jolee into the hallway with him, water already up to their waists and roaring in their ears. Carth struggled to get the door closed against the oncoming water, his heart beating a mile a minute_. Firaxans, pressure, _Elizabeth! His thoughts flashed by as he pulled with all his might to get the door closed, the automated mechanism beyond any use.

Meanwhile, Elizabeth had leapt through the other door, just nearly dodging having her left leg eaten by a shark caught up in the current, and closed the door with the force before the water had reached her waist. She heard the firaxans being thrown against the walls by the rush, and hoped they would swim away. A pressure door could only do so much.

Carth shut the door, finally, as the water got up to their necks, Jolee still coughing and spluttering.

"_Damn it!_" Carth shouted. "How are we going to get back to her now?"

"We should be a bit more worried about our own skins, sonny, unless you'd _like_ to freeze to death?"

"Alright, alright! Let's… Let's try and level the water down."

Carth and Jolee swam through the freezing water and reached a door at the end of the hallway opposite the direction Elizabeth had fled. Together, they pulled the door open, and the water poured past them into the next room, apparently a large storage room. They were swept into it by the current and braced themselves against a wall, the level of the water settling down at their lower torsos. They began sloshing towards the door on the other end of the hall.

Elizabeth leaned on the wall and sighed, then looked around, relieved. The bumping the firaxans made had stopped.

The first thing she noticed was the airlock door, subtly labeled "depressurization chamber", and the second was a bright yellow envirosuit glittering from underneath the water. She splashed forward and pulled herself onto the metal table sticking out half a foot above the water, pulling her legs to her chest and resting her chin on them.

She clenched her teeth together and tried to rub away the Goosebumps rising on her arms._ I'm going to die here if I don't do something soon,_ she thought. _Let's see…_

She looked around again, trying to find a container closed to the water. There was an open footlocker full of broken datapads, and a plasteel cylinder – thankfully closed. Elizabeth hopped reluctantly back into the water and dragged the plasteel container with her on to the table. She pried it open manually and pulled out a dry combat suit.

_First good omen in two days!_ She thought cheerfully, as she changed out of her soggy Jedi robes into it and pulled Carth's jacket back on. Next she took out a small mechanical device, rectangular with two prongs at the end and a single button in the center. Beneath it was a datapad, which appeared to belong to one of the researchers.

"28th day under, year 3956 BBY," Elizabeth read. "Finished sonic emitter to fend off firaxans. Disrupts their neurological systems and leaves them stunned for a good hour or more. Will speed up progress of harvester mechanics. Too many have been taken lately." Elizabeth grinned. "Just what I needed. But unless the suit's got air…"

She positioned herself at the edge of the table and hooked her feet underneath it to prevent herself from falling, then reached into the freezing water and dragged the envirosuit towards her. _By the force, this thing is heavy!_ She thought, groaning with the weight, but she managed to pull it up onto the table with her.

She connected the datapad she found to the suit's output and read the stats, then breathed a sigh of relief. The air supply read just over half a tank full. It should last her enough time to…

_To what?_ Elizabeth realized she had no idea what she intended to do once she got to the open water. Wander 'till she found the Star Map? _Sure,_ she thought, snorting._Very effective._

_Maybe I could check out the isolated part of the station. If there's any chance someone's alive out there, I'll take it._ She nodded, filled with a new sense of resolve, and began dumping the water out of and checking the systems of the suit.

Carth and Jolee, meanwhile, had managed to even the water out to their ankles, and found the room that contained the main computer database and the other envirosuit.

Carth set himself to work immediately trying to repair one – any – of the comm. links. Jolee settled himself on top of a stack of footlockers and cast his mind about trying to feel for Elizabeth's presence in the Force. His was a fruitless effort, and while Carth managed to get a few links established, none of them led to Elizabeth, or anyone else for that matter.

Jolee got up and grumbled about too much water, then started opening up crates and searching for dry clothes and provisions. He laid out two combat suits atop his footlocker stack, then divvied up the medpacks he found. He figured they'd be more bountiful, what with the amount of kolto to be found around here, but he only got two for each of them, and he changed into his combat suit, still grumbling.

At least a little warmer now, Jolee splashed over to the medbay and lied down on one of the beds, self-righteously claiming his need for rest to Carth in the other room. He received a distracted grunt in reply.

* * *

Author Comments: 

OHNOES! What shall happen to our heroes, trapped underneath like a zillion pounds of water pressure? D: And and... uh... I forget what else. Sorry the update took so long. I have lots of CarthxRevan fanart. I'm going to make a website for them one day, I swear I will. I've written a buttload more and I'll get it up some day. Once Agharo stops being lazy. Ha ha the Evanescence song title reference. And do please tell me if you see grammar errors or stuff by the italics that's messed up, 'cus the conversion from Word to the format tends to mess up italics for some unfathomable reason.


	6. Found and Lost

Back at the first door to the station, Elizabeth had thought she was terrified. Now, facing the open water and troupes of wandering firaxans, she was terror-struck beyond movement, and she thought she might wet herself in the envirosuit. Her good mood had completely disappeared the moment water began to fill up the depressurization chamber.

She told herself again and again, I've got limited air, I have to do this, if I ever expect to face up to Malak, this is the least I can do… She took a breath, urged one foot forward. She took a step. Urged the other, took another step.

She finally found herself at a steady walk towards the other side of the station, each step bringing up a small cloud of silt around her feet. She cursed how heavy the suit was and how slow her movement, but she figured she had maybe 30 minutes at this pressure, and that would be enough to get there and back, with one small side-trip.

She was going forward at a good pace, focusing on each motion, when two firaxans, previously circling each other, spotted her and her bright yellow envirosuit. _Damn scientists_, she thought, wondering if they were colorblind. But she was ready for this. Didn't stop her pulse from picking up as they approached, but at least she could think clearly.

Elizabeth pulled out her sonic emitter, hoping the scientist had tested their device. The firaxans got closer each second, swerving through the water predatorily. Elizabeth's hand hovered over the button, waiting until they were close enough, just close enough to discern one scale from another…

There! She screwed her eyes shut and slammed her hand down on the button, praying she didn't damage it, praying it worked.

She felt a wave passing through the water, and _not_ huge jaws snapping her in half, which she figured was a pretty good sign. She slowly opened her eyes, and there were two firaxans, floating in front of her on their backs and appearing unable to move.

_Yes, score!_ she thought. She knew where she was going and she knew how to deal with the firaxans. _Getting to the other side of the station should be a breeze. And the scenery's quite nice._

She glanced around at the kolto waving breezily in the faint current, and the endless dark blue of the ocean, smiled to herself, then continued on.

A short while later, she was stepping out of the clunky envirosuit and stretching inside the pleasantly dry, isolated section of the station.

She took out her lightsaber and lit it, walking confidently into the next room, quickly dispatching the Selkath there. They had never been all that hard to beat, mad as they were, and not exactly suited to combat. Maybe the constant sloshing had driven them mad, since surely they had even more "squishy parts" than she did.

The room after that was divided with a force field, and there were two humans behind it, staring fearfully at her. One of them rushed over to a security console.

"Stop!" he yelled. "Don't move or I'll depressurize the room! You'll die in seconds!"

"Wait, I'm here to help you!" Elizabeth said hastily. No telling if the scream had affected humans, as well as Selkath… She glanced around in case there was another console she could stop the depressurization with.

"Why should we trust you!?" the girl screeched. "The Selkath turned on us, ate everyone! Have you ever had to see your friends being eaten right in front of you!?"

"Please, just calm down!" Elizabeth shouted in reply. "Roland Wann sent me to find out what happened. Can you please let me in?" She forced calming thoughts on them, willing them to trust her. Thankfully they didn't seem to notice it happening.

"O-okay. But try anything funny and we'll turn a blaster on you!" The man fiddled with the console, and the force field lowered. Elizabeth stepped forward and bowed.

"I am Elizabeth Salo, a Jedi. Will you tell me what happened here?"

The girl hesitantly nodded. "I'm Sami. This is Kono. We thought we were the only ones alive down here."

"We were just working," Kono said, "on our own projects, the Selkath with us, peacefully. Then this _noise_ came from the direction of the reef. Suddenly all the Selkath went insane, started eating people. Some tried to escape, but the firaxans went crazy too, and rammed through several tunnels- ended up drowning the ones who tried to leave, flooding the exits, and cutting us off here."

"We managed to defend ourselves from the Selkath," Sami added. "But there's nowhere we can go, now. No way to escape."

"You mentioned a noise. What did it sound like?"

"Not unlike the firaxans, but more high-pitched. Almost a scream."

"Probably came from that giant firaxan who's been gettin' at the harvester these past few days," Kono grumbled. "We need to get rid of that thing."

"No, we need to get rid of the harvester!" Sami cried. "It's against the law! Besides, we can't use that _poison_ you're so fond of. We have no idea what it'll do to the natural environment."

"You," Kono said, turning to Elizabeth, who was just a little confused. "You've got an envirosuit, right? You could do it."

"Do what?"

"Poison the big shark," he said. "Takes care of the little ones, too."

"Poison the big shark?"

"Or destroy the harvester," Sami said, glaring at Kono. "I don't know the mechanics of the thing, but there's probably a way from the console that controls it, out by the bridge."

"Bridge?" Elizabeth was beginning to feel like an echo.

"The one to the ruins we uncovered," Sami replied.

"You know we'd all be better off with the big beast dead!" Kono said. "Just vent this through the harvester. Easier than figuring out the mechanics, anyways." He held out a small plasteel container. "Take it."

_Wow, they're rather eager to send me off,_ Elizabeth thought, but she didn't say it. "But Sami said it could damage the environment."

"She doesn't know that!"

"It's still not worth it to take the risk!" Sami put in.

"If you destroy that harvester, you'll set us back _years_ of work."

"Do what you think is right," Sami suggested. Kono shoved the poison into Elizabeth's hand, and she walked off, thoroughly confused.

By the time she'd gotten back into her envirosuit, however, she decided she would destroy the harvester. Better that than put the _entire_ and _only_ supply of kolto in the galaxy in jeopardy.

She'd just stepped back out into open water when she heard a faint buzzing in her ear. Then a voice. A familiar voice.

"Hey. Is this thing on?"

"Carth!" Elizabeth gasped.

"The one and only, beautiful. I expect my jacket back, y'know."

"You have no idea… H-how glad I am to hear your voice."

"Likewise. But you're an idiot."

"Hey!"

"You shouldn't have gone out alone! Although I'm not surprised you're still alive."

"Sonic emitters. Kind of like anesthesia. For big, hungry sharks."

"Great. So what are you doing out there?"

"I found two survivors in the other section of the station. I'm heading to the harvester controls to blow it up, but I haven't the faintest idea how."

"You're lucky I'm here, then."

"Hell yeah, I am." Elizabeth said, smiling to herself.

In a few minutes she found the console, and the bridge. Past the bridge she thought she saw something, but it would have to wait. Elizabeth would have tried to figure out how to work it herself, but though she was pretty good with mechanics, the long, complicated streams of numbers and bits of data were a little too much for her.

She bent over the console and described everything to Carth. He responded with detailed instructions, and she set about performing them. It took a while, but Carth's knowledge of machines paid off, and Elizabeth heard a muted booming noise from the direction of the rift. She did a slow-mo punch in the water.

"Yeah! We did it!" she said.

"Now get back here with my jacket before I freeze to death."

"Yes, sir!" she said. "Soon as I check out these ruins."

"Hurry up about it."

Elizabeth crossed the bridge, slowly but surely, glancing sideways at the biggest firaxan shark she'd ever seen. She swallowed a scream, and when it didn't seem to be hostile, she tensed down. Destroying the harvester had really done the trick.

Once she reached the end of the bridge, she heard a beeping noise from the suit. She caught her breath. "Carth?" she said.

"Yeah, gorgeous?"

"I think I'm running out of air."

He hesitated a moment, as if he thought she were joking. And then he panicked. "Oh shit. Shit! Elizabeth, I told you – Damnit, woman, hold on!"

"Carth?" Elizabeth whispered. "Don't leave me…" No answer.

Her breaths became shallow and ragged. Each inhale left her lungs a little less full than before. Spots began to dance before her eyes. She fought to stumble forward, to reach the Star Map, as she was sure by now that was what it was, but her limbs couldn't move easily. The edges of her vision began to fade. She stumbled and hit her arm on something metallic.

Landing hard on her back in the silt, Elizabeth gazed up at the shining golden ball hovering above her, watched as it became a sun, as the coordinates all connected to each other, pointing to a new place… The Star Forge. She _had_ found the last Star Map.

She gulped as she breathed in the last of her air, and smiled a little. Her last thought before everything went black was that Carth had forgiven her.

* * *

Author Comments: Oh em gee! Nooooo! D: Weeee for cliffhangers. HAHAHA! 


	7. Embrace

"She can't be dead," Carth said, pulling off the helmet of his envirosuit. "Jolee, tell me she's not dead!"

"Would you want me to lie to you?" Jolee replied, lying Elizabeth gently down on one of the beds in the med bay.

"Damnit!" Carth quickly shed the rest of the suit and knelt by Elizabeth's head. _I did not go out there with 1/8 of my air to bring her back dead!_ he thought._ I almost ran out of air myself. Like this woman wasn't going to get me killed one day, anyway._

"Her presence isn't only necessary, eh?" It wasn't a question. "Least of all to you."

"Would you just – ugh! You are so frustrating!" _So I forgave her. Calling her beautiful doesn't mean I'm in love with her. __Either way.__ I'm not ready for her to die yet._ "…How long did she go without air?"

"11 minutes. You'd best start CPR."

Carth quickly searched his medical knowledge and came up with nothing. "Is there… is there any chance?"

Jolee turned to Carth , his eye twinkling in that creepy way old men's eyes do. "What do you think?"

"I think I'd sure be dead after 11 minutes without air."

"Is that so?"

"This isn't a joke old man!" Carth would have bared his teeth and growled had he been a kath hound or something of the like.

Jolee hit Carth over the head with his 'saber. "Then start CPR!"

,.-::-.,.-::-.,.-::-.,.-::-.,.-::-.,

This time it was Carth leaning over Elizabeth in the med bay of the _Ebon __Hawk_. It was he whose brow was creased with worry. It was a full day after he'd dragged her envirosuit across the floor of Manaan's ocean. She still hadn't woken up, and Jolee refused to say a word. Still, they wouldn't put her in the med bay if she weren't going to live, right?

Carth watched the steady rise and fall of her chest and sighed. Worrying about her wouldn't do a thing except make it worse if something bad _did_ happen. But it wasn't as if he could help it. He picked up her hand and felt her wrist for a pulse, eventually finding himself stroking the palm of her hand, gently.

Elizabeth's eyes fluttered open and closed. All she felt at first was her hand, warm, that someone was holding it, then she opened her eyes fully and glanced to the side. "Carth?" she mouthed.

Carth nearly jumped out of his skin. "Damnit, woman, don't scare me like that!" he shouted, then laughed nervously, straightening. "You're okay. You're alive. You Jedi are pretty damn tough."

"How did I…?"

"Uh, well…"

As if she was waiting for her cue, Mission barged in and gently nudged Carth to the side. She bent over Elizabeth and winked at her. "Carth here went out in the other envirosuit on 1/8 air. Risked his life to save yours." She grinned and nudged Elizabeth's arm. "You're pretty lucky!"

Elizabeth smiled up at Carth, who was rubbing his neck and looking to the side. "Thanks," she said. "Second time you've saved me. You planning on making a habit of it?"

Carth dropped his hand and smiled back at her. "If you plan on making a habit of getting yourself into dangerous situations? Sure."

"Well, that's real sweet!" Mission cooed, then stepped back. "I'll just leave you two alone, then."

"Mission!" Carth glared at her, then sighed. "Almost as annoying as Jolee, sometimes, I swear. And _she's_ not even a Jedi."

"Hey!"

"Eh – whoops." Carth grinned sheepishly.

"So why'd you do it, this time?" Elizabeth asked him, propping herself up on her elbows.

"I told you I wanted my jacket back."

It then occurred to Elizabeth that she was still, in fact, wearing his jacket. She blushed and sat up, removed it hastily, and held it out without looking at him. He took it, a puzzled expression on his face.

From her post in the engine room, Mission snorted. "Crazy adults." Zaalbar, as he passed by, paused to stare incredulously at his young twi'lek companion. "Hey, I can't see!" she whined.

/Mission, what are you doing?/

"Spying, isn't it obvious?"

Zaalbar shook his head. /You're crazy./ and he walked off.

Elizabeth perked up. "What about Sami and Kono?" she asked. "Are they ok?"

"A sub's going down for them right now." Carth replied, thankful for the break in the tense atmosphere. "You know what you did, destroying that harvester, right?"

Elizabeth sighed, preparing herself for a long speech about irreparably damaging the war efforts of the Republic.

"You saved us another trip to the Selkath court."

"What?!" _That_ was a bit unexpected. Since when did blowing things up work out with the Selkath peace laws?

"The giant firaxan you saved, the Selkath have some great myths about it, relating to the Kolto. It's called the Progenitor, but beyond that they wouldn't talk much. If you'd poisoned it we would have been banished from Manaan. As it is they've hiked up our landing fee for being 'troublemakers'."

"Stupid, cheap fish-heads…"

"You shake things up everywhere you go, don't you, beautiful."

"Not intentionally, Flyboy."

"Oh, I doubt that." Carth grinned and shook his head at her. "So how're you feeling?"

"Good enough. A little numb, but I'm pretty sure at this point that I'm not dead."

"Heh, I should hope not. You should probably get some more rest. We're leaving the day after tomorrow, early morning."

"Yes, sir." She mock-saluted him as he left, then she laid back and tried to fall asleep.

She did sleep, for quite a while, but it was uneasy, and she eventually got up and wandered into the cockpit. It was empty, surprisingly, but Elizabeth was glad. She wanted to be alone.

_How, exactly, does one prepare to take on a Sith Lord?_ she thought as she gazed out the window to Manaan's ocean. _We're just going to casually fly out to greet a dark tool of destruction.__ You can't just waltz up and say, hey, we're just gonna blow you up no-_

"Something bothering you, beautiful?" Carth said, walking up behind her, jolting her out of her thoughts. "I was going to check out the coordinates you got," he held up a datapad, "but it can wait."

"Not bothered, really. It just feels a little weird. A bit too _normal._"

"Well, what were you expecting?"

"I dunno, something other than the tiny troupes of Sith fighters that plague us each time we leave a port."

"They are pretty annoying, eh."

"That's an understatement." Elizabeth sighed and looked at him, then back out the window. "So, what made you change your mind?"

"Huh?"

"To forgive me," she said, looking him straight in the eyes. His warm, inviting, beautiful chestnut- colored eyes… She shook herself when she realized what she was doing.

"Oh, well… I just, you know, thought about it. For a while. And I… I guess I just can't hate you. I tried, but I couldn't blame you for what's happened. For Telos, for… For my wife, and Dustil, and all the things you've done." He paused and sighed, his expression distant.

Elizabeth picked up his hand and held it up in front of her, but after a moment he pulled away. "I got the revenge I always wanted when Saul died," Carth said, more quietly this time. "But it hasn't brought me the peace I thought it would."

"Should I leave you alone, Carth?"

"…yeah. Thanks, Elizabeth."

She smiled as she left. _He called me Elizabeth. I'm not Revan to him anymore._

Later that night, Elizabeth was just getting into bed – she'd moved from the med bay to her original bunks for Jolee. She heard a thump from the swoop bay, and got up to check it out. Apparently, HK had knocked Carth over during a sparring match. Carth scrambled to stand up, his face turning red.

"I, ah, I guess it's been a little too long since I've practiced with a vibroblade," he said.

"Statement: Perhaps you are merely incompetent, meatbag."

"Quiet, droid."

Elizabeth smiled, then glanced at Carth. Something in his expression tugged at her heartstrings. "You look like you've got something to say."

Carth looked startled, but only for a moment. Jedi intuition had _almost_ ceased to surprised him. Almost. "Yeah. Can we… Can we go somewhere else?" He cast a sideways glance at HK.

"Sure," she replied. Carth nodded solemnly and led her to the Communications Bay. He looked a little upset, which was an improvement from cold and angry. It was like old times, when he'd bring her in here to talk, just talk. About his homeworld, childhood, what he thought of the things that they'd experienced. She'd gotten the feeling a lot of repressed emotions of his had been released, to her, here. It made her feel special, that he was willing to open up to her about everything.

"Elizabeth," he said, and she looked up at him. "I'm… Uh… I'm concerned. About you. I've been keeping these thoughts to myself, even since we left Dantooine, but I think it's time I say something."

"What is it?"

"I'm worried about you. You have a lot of courage, sometimes to the point of recklessness, and you've remained strong this whole time, but… I'm afraid there's some greater danger ahead."

"What are you talking about?" Thus far, he'd succeeded in flattering, then confusing her. She wondered what he'd do next.

"I think you might be setting yourself up for a fall. Maybe at the urging of the Jedi, I don't know… But you're definitely going to become a target. If, uh… If I'm going to find some purpose now, beyond this mission, then it's going to have to be in protecting you."

"You've thought a lot about this, haven't you?" Flattering, confusing, surprising, then flattering again.

"Yeah…" Carth sighed. "I don't know why, but I think some terrible fate is waiting for you. I think the Jedi council knows it, too. And I don't want that to come to pass. If I'm going to live past all this, I need you to, as well. Let me… Let me protect you. From yourself, from the Sith… You have to let me try."

"H-how could you protect me?"

"I… I don't know. I'm not the best of men, and I'm not the strongest fighter there is. But I'll find a way."

"Why are you doing this, Carth?"

Whereas before, he had been borderline whispering, he was now only barely audible. "Because… Because I didn't get a chance to save my wife or my son. Because I finally have the chance to do things right for a change, to do _something_ right."

"Carth, you're a war hero and a highly respected pilot – you've done plenty of things right."

"Somehow it never feels that way." His face darkened, and he looked to the floor. Things were quiet for a moment, and she listened to the hums and beeps of the computers while searching her mind for something to say, something to comfort him.

"Carth? …You've done a lot right by me… So you know…" She put a hand over his, and this time he didn't pull away.

After telling himself over and over that she was his _friend_, he wondered at the rate his heart was beating. Finally, he let go of his pride and pulled her into an embrace.

She steeled herself for just a moment, startled, then she relaxed, slipping her arms around his waist. He knew she would fit well with him. So… fragile, yet resilient, she felt warm, making his skin tingle everywhere she touched it.

Maybe, Elizabeth thought, this is what he needs for comfort. She pressed her forehead to his chest to hide her red face.

They simply stood there for a while, him holding her, until Elizabeth reluctantly backed away. She really, really hadn't wanted to, but did anyway, without knowing exactly why. "We should… We should go to sleep," she mumbled, head down, then she ran off to the starboard dormitory, her bare feet padding surprisingly quietly on the metal floors.

"Wait, Elizabeth-" Carth began, then sighed, watching her go with a dejected expression. He could feel the lack of her presence as much as he'd felt her in his arms. He walked ever-so-slowly back to his own bunk, confused and disappointed, and sat on it, leaning over his knees, wondering if he shouldn't have tried. Wondering why his face felt so hot.

_I don't love her. I don't love her. I don't love her._

The next morning, the crew of the _Hawk_ was standing in the hanger. Roland was there, and a few Republic soldiers, along with Sami, Kono, and Shaelas, the Selkath whose daughter had turned to the Sith. Elizabeth shook hands with Roland, and was startled to receive a bear hug from Sami. All she got from Kono was a begrudged nod of acknowledgment.

"You did good out there," Roland said.

"I wouldn't be here to have done so if it weren't for these fine ladies and gentleman," Elizabeth replied, gesturing to the motley crew behind her. After a protestant beep from T3, she quickly added, "and droids, too."

"You've done great things for the Republic here. The Sith aren't going to be quite as welcome, from now on…" Roland continued, "and your actions here may well tip the scale in the war."

"It was an honor, sir."

Shaelas walked up to her and inclined his head. "I cannot thank you enough for returning my daughter to me. When nowhere else, you will find welcome in my home."

"We should get going," Jolee said. "Enough of the goodbye party."

"Duty calls," Elizabeth said to those who'd gathered to see them off. She bowed to them, and she and her crew retreated onto their ship. The _Hawk_ primed, took off from Manaan, and headed straight for the Star Forge.

* * *

Author Comments: Ohnoes! Resolved cliffhanger! And... Uh... she said duty! What shall happen between them now? 

Do please tell me if you find any mistakes. That includes Ebon Hawk not being italicized, Sith, Sith Lord, Mandalorian, Republic, Force not capitalized, and spelling/spacing errors (especially with those stupid Wookie names. That means you, Kashyyyk ... Rwookrrorro & Jaarak & Woorwill & Freyrr & Chorrawl & Worrroznor!!)


	8. Falling

They were approaching the Star Forge in the _Hawk_, and Elizabeth thought she had managed to prepare herself for anything. She was wrong. Of course, as Canderous had once said, they were dealing with the force, here. Almost anything could happen.

There'd been a disruptor field. The _Ebon Hawk_'s systems began failing one by one, and Carth managed to guide them as they fell from the sky like a shot aviar. They landed roughly on the one place Elizabeth thought manage to be prettier than Dantooine. A planet of beaches and shipwrecks. A planet she wouldn't mind vacationing on if she weren't on a _vaguely_ important mission.

Elizabeth had been avoiding Carth. She brought Mission and Canderous out with her instead, saying he'd better stay back and see what he could do about the damage done to the ship, but Carth knew better. She wouldn't even look at him, and it hurt. He desperately wanted to know why, but couldn't figure out how to approach her with it.

Elizabeth was disturbed by her time on the planet, finding each step brought back a fragment of her memories; she had been here before, as Revan, and she found herself going forward with more familiarity than she would have liked.

They arrived at the home of the Elder Rakata and learned of Revan's history. They tried to reason with the tribe of the One, but ended up slaughtering the entirety of the tribe, and Elizabeth left their enclave with an odd feeling in her gut. Unease? She had left an entire enclave littered with blaster-singed corpses. Why shouldn't she be uneasy?

Then she got access to the Rakatan temple, Jolee and Juhani in tow. While razing down the dark Jedi that had infested the place, she was told she was not fit to lead the Sith anymore, too weak. After cutting them down, she wondered at the anger and fervor with which she had done so.She entertained the thought that she was a terrible Jedi for what seemed to be at least the tenth time.

And then she encountered, on the summit of the temple, the someone she had least expected to be there.

"Bastila!" Elizabeth shouted, her hair whipping around in her face in the lofty winds above the temple. "Thank the Force, you're alive!"

"In more ways than one, Revan!" Bastila replied with a haughty sneer. She wore the robes of the dark Jedi, and the lightsaber in her hands was red. There was a ship behind her that looked as if it had just landed. Elizabeth took all of this in with only a small measure of surprise. "I am stronger now."

"What? What are you talking about?"

Bastila choked back a laugh. "Are you so slow, now, Revan? The dark side, that's what I'm talking about. I have been _freed_, and made more powerful than ever. You can be freed too."

"Bastila, no! The dark side is not stronger, it's only equal if anything, and all it will end in is destruction and death."

"For our enemies. And more power for us. I've realized that the Jedi Council has only been holding us back. We have power, you and I, and they were afraid of us. They sent us to be killed on this mission."

"What?! The Jedi would never do such a thing!" Elizabeth thought of her conversation with Carth. _I don't know why, but I think some terrible fate is waiting for you. I think the Jedi Council knows it, too._

"Are you so sure, Revan? Are you so sure you have not only been fighting for the same evil you thought you were trying to destroy?" She paused for dramatic effect. "Besides, even if the power were equal, would you not rather have power _and_ be allowed _natural __emotion_, that the Jedi have forbidden?"

"Do not listen to her!" Juhani hissed behind Elizabeth. "The Jedi are _good_. They helped me to overcome the darkness in me, as did you. Don't-"

"Juhani, please! Be… be quiet. This is between Bastila and me."

"You know she's lying to you, girl," Jolee began. "You know what she's trying to do-"

"SHUT UP!!" Elizabeth screeched, clapping her hands over her ears. This change had appeared in her so quickly. Or had it only been building up all along? All she could think of was the splitting headache she had, as if a Gammorean axe was imbedded in her skull. And the Council. What _had_ they done?

The wind was howling, far, far too loud for Elizabeth's tastes, and it was boring holes in her ears – she felt tingling along her arms, the familiar feel of the Force swirling around and through her. Suddenly, it stopped. The pain, and the wind, all fell silent.

Elizabeth slowly lowered her hands and looked around her with a dazed expression. "You see?" Bastila said quietly, her voice oozing with a sick pleasure. "What power you can have when you allow your emotions to take a hold of you? Do you see what power you could have embracing the dark side? For you've only just felt a fraction of what you could do, what you could feel."

"No," Elizabeth muttered, shaking her head. "It's not right…" The wind picked up again, making her hair dance around her head and her robes flap helplessly in the torrent – was it only her headache making her delusional, or was Bastila making far too much sense?

"I would gladly become your apprentice. Imagine what we could accomplish together. With my battle meditation and your command of the Force… The possibilities are endless!"

"Don't do it, Elizabeth!" Jolee called to her. "Revan's not a part of you anymore, you don't have to be that way. You don't have to be her."

Little things clicked into place in Elizabeth's head, one after the other, and she hunched her shoulders up decidedly. "I have to be who I am, Jolee. I have no choice."

"She's who you were, not who you are. You_ can_ choose that."

"I'm tired of being weak and afraid of everything all the time! If everything feared me, I'd have nothing to fear."

"You were never weak, Elizabeth-"

"But I'm afraid to be. And I hate it."

"You don't-"

Elizabeth decided then, too, in some distant part of her mind, that she was tired of the old man's endless stories and speeches. Before she realized what she'd done, her lightsaber flew from her hand. It sliced through the air with a faint humming noise and embedded itself in the older Jedi's heart. He made desperate choking sounds for a moment, and if Elizabeth had turned she would have seen the blood dripping down the sides of his mouth. As she was, she heard only the soft thump of his lifeless body hitting the tiled ground.

Her lightsaber returned to her hand, which was shaking, along with the rest of her – why? Excitement? Anger? Power?

The Force loved her, and she knew it. It flooded her veins and flew around and through her more than any other, it seemed. She knew it, and loved it. She reveled in it… Now. Bathed in the power she knew she had. She spun around and faced Juhani, completely ignoring Jolee's corpse. The cathar girl was trembling, but she stood straight with her lightsaber at hand and lit.

"Don't do it, Elizabeth, you don't have to… R-Revan is not a part of you –"

"Save it, Kitty. I should have sold you to that sleazeball Xor when I was given the chance."

"_What?!_"Juhani screeched. "How dare you! You, I—" She seemed at a lack for words for a few tense seconds, then she ran towards the other Jedi, driven by fury, blinded by it. Elizabeth dispatched her with two easy movements of her lightsaber, without any hint of hesitation.

"Excellent," Bastila whispered. "Do please call off your winds. My hair is becoming messy." The wind gradually died down, and Revan faced her new protégé with a wicked smile.

"Let's see to our crew, shall we?"

**,.-::-.,.-::-.,.-::-.,.-::-.,.-::-.,**

"No," Carth muttered. "She didn't, she couldn't have…"

"-Reclaimed her title as Dark Lord!" Bastila shouted, taking a moment to sneer triumphantly at each of the crew members, and then to glare at Canderous, who had shrugged indifferently. "_Bow_ before your new master or you will _perish_!"

"W-where are Jolee and Juhani?" Mission stuttered. She appeared close to tears. Her knuckles were white, she was clenching her fists so hard.

"Dead!" Bastila replied. "They did not accept her leadership, and they were cut down. And the same shall happen to you, if you cross her or me. In fact-!" Revan force pushed Bastila just enough to make her stumble.

"_Enough_, Bastila."

"Say it ain't true, Lizzy!" Mission cried, her face open and desperate. Revan knew she was clinging to a tiny shred of hope, that it was all a lie.

"But it is true, Mission," she replied coolly, watching the twi'lek girl's face crumble with despair. "So you will all join me, or be forced to. It doesn't matter. You can know now that either way I will destroy the Star Forge."

"What?!" Bastila said, mouth agape. "It would be the coming of our new empire, you can't destr-"

"_QUIET_, Bastila!" This time the force pushed knocked her off her feet and several meters back on the sand.

"Yes, master…" Bastila replied through clenched teeth, standing up and dusting the sand on her robes. _Only a little longer_, she promised herself.

"You will come willingly," Revan said calmly to her crew, "or you will come by force. I can make use of all of you."

"You don't have to…" Carth began. "Elizabeth, Revan wasn't… I see the other side in you, it was there and it's still there, you just have to find it, and come back to us, please!" He was desperate, too, Revan realized. The droids would come without trouble, HK with delight, in fact, and Canderous would follow with no complaints, as well. Zaalbar was bound by his life debt. Mission and Carth would have to be forced. They still truly believed that she would deny who she was, who she had always been.

Outwardly he didn't show as much, but Carth felt like a part of him just died. He had trusted again, against all of his better judgment, and more than trusted, come to need, and care about, and he had just been betrayed. _Again_. _How is it_, he wondered, _that I always choose the worst people to trust_? "Mission, Zaalbar, run!" Carth shouted, knowing they were the only ones that would stand with him against her, against _this_ her, but both stood rooted to the spot. "What are you doing? Get out of here!"

/I can't./ Zaalbar said. /I have a lifedebt to stay true to./

"I won't leave without Big Z! H-he's all I got… Now… I'll die here with him if I have to."

/Mission, no!/ The wookie roared.

"Cool your big, furry head. No one's going to die here." Revan said, a small smile on her face.

"They're not?" Bastila said incredulously.

"We're not?" Carth echoed.

"Like I said, I can use you. So, will you come quietly or will I have to get neural bands on you?"

"N-no," Mission said. "I won't _ever_ serve you, I-" Revan put her and Carth in a stasis, then commanded Canderous to fetch two neural bands. He did so, grumbling the whole time about not being an errand boy. He handed the bands to Revan, who stuck one on Mission's head and told Zaalbar to carry her in.

"We'll keep her in the cargo bay, where she can't do any damage," she said. "HK, make sure the walking rug does it right."

"Yes, master, with pleasure!" HK trilled. "And may I say it is good to see you back as your old self again, despite the lack of bloodshed."

"And you," Revan murmured, approaching the frozen Carth, "will be kept in the med bay. I have plans for you." She fitted the neural band gently onto his head and let go of the stasis. Carth's eyes went blank and his body slack, and Revan ordered Canderous to bring him to the med bay.

"Now," she said to the very pissed off Bastila behind her. "You get T3 and HK up to pilot the _Hawk_. We're going to the Forge. I'll be in the starboard dormitory, after I deal with him." She jerked her thumb in the direction of Canderous carrying Carth off like a sack of potatoes.

"As you wish, _master_."

Revan went up the loading ramp to the _Ebon Hawk_, her hips swaying in a haughty manner. T3 released a long, sad "dwoo" and followed Bastila through the sand to the ship, which took off shortly after, ridded of the disruptor field.

Revan headed first to the med bay where Carth was tied down, and leaned over him, supporting herself with her left hand beside his shoulder, and using her right to nudge the band off of his head. The blank look remained for a few moments, then he blinked into consciousness. It still took him a bit to realized who was there, and when he did, he glared at her sickly sweet smile.

"Welcome back, Flyboy. Miss me while you were out?" She no longer really cared what he thought of her, so she decided to finally let her feelings out – granted, not quite in the same way as she would have before.

"You disgust me," he spat. "I thought I could trust you. I can't believe you would really do such a thing. You're not… You're not the woman I knew. You're not even the woman you were last night."

"Personally, I'm glad of that."

Carth swallowed the lump in his throat, then turned his head away, not wanting to look at her anymore. Her eyes haunted him enough as it was. Somehow, her skin seemed paler than before.

"It's too bad I already know there's nothing you would abandon your precious Republic for. You could have worked with me."

"_Never_."

"Pity. You know, I really do love your hair. I don't get how you keep these two strands awry." She pushed his face to hers and leaned closer to him, brushing his hair lightly with the back of her hand. "They're rather tantalizing…" She smiled and he grimaced, trying to squirm away from her cold touch.

She was really enjoying torturing him like this. Maybe, she pondered, he didn't hate her before, but now he truly loathed every part of her, and she pondered what else she could do to entertain herself with him.

"Stop," Carth said. He'd closed his eyes and his head could have bored a hole in the pillow if he pushed it further back. "Please."

"I don't think so," she whispered. "I've always wanted to do this." Then she leaned down and kissed him. It startled him at first, and she knew it, because at first he kissed her back, with surprising fervor – but then he steeled his lips against hers, and when she didn't stop, he bit her lip.

"Ow! Frack!" She jerked her head back and nursed her lip with her tongue – he'd bitten hard enough to draw blood, and she realized he wouldn't entertain her anymore. "Damnit, Carth!" She slapped him, hard so that the sound of it echoed in the small room – or was that just her imagination? His cheek turned red, but he didn't flinch, he didn't speak. He just turned away from her. She got up and left in an angry huff.

But her fingers kept fluttering to her lips, and she was furious with herself for enjoying the kiss as much as she had, even though Carth had been less than cooperative. Her only condolence was that he had hated it, and probably wished he could wash his mouth out – the thought brought a twisted smile to her face.

In a short while, they left hyperspace. They got past the few Sith patrol ships easily and docked on the Forge. Revan gave her orders to the conscious part of her crew and drifted distractedly into the engine room while they prepared to explore the place. She sat cross-legged on the floor, her back resting against the hyperdrive, and closed her eyes for a quick rest. The hum of the numerous systems of the ship were rather calming.

Before long, she felt a presence in the room, felt it was Bastila, but her bond with the other girl was blurred – she sensed only a severe calm from her apprentice, nothing else.

Bastila said nothing, but Revan heard footsteps crossing the room to her. She opened her eyes just in time to see Bastila stick her thigh with a syringe and push a cloudy fluid into her, a practiced emotionless look on her apprentice's face.

"No use fighting it, _master_. Specialized for use on Jedi," Bastila said, her guise dropping for a look of sick pleasure, obviously one of her favorites.

"You… Spineless… S-schutta…" Revan muttered with a barely working mouth. Every part of her was becoming numb with a tingling feeling that would have made her shudder with disgust, if she could have.

"And you are a fool," Bastila replied.

The world "fool" echoed in Revan's head, over and over again, as her vision went black for the second time that month.

* * *

Author Comments: Omgwoot! This chapter is uber long! D Well... kind of. Hey, I don't like the next up chapter very much, except for the first part with Carth/Mission. Do bear with me. I'm going on a trip this weekend so I won't get any typing done - I can promise the next chapter will be up before the Sunday after next. Thank you for all the reviews! 


	9. Imprisonment

Revan woke up stiff and very pissed off. She was on her back on the floor of what looked like a very big, domed arena. She still wore her blue Jedi Knight robes, but her lightsaber and medpacks were missing. She sat up and looked around again.

The top of the arena was domed, half-foot thick plastiglass with a spectator's platform above it, and there was only one exit, a small blast door on the wall opposite her ungracious resting place.

Revan stood up and stretched, watching the door warily. She jumped when Malak's grating voice boomed above her.

"Welcome to the Star Forge's reinforced battle ring, Revan," he said. "I'm sure you wonder why you're here, why I haven't killed you."

She looked up and spotted him on the spectator's platform, holding her lightsaber. The damnable man had his grubby paws on _her_ lightsaber. _Once I get out of here_, she thought, _he _will _pay._ She didn't say anything, though, so Malak continued.

"You and Bastila will fight, for the role of my apprentice."

That was just too much. "_What_?! _Your_ apprentice? I am more powerful than you could _dream_, Malak! Who are you trying to fool!?"

Malak laughed at her and she seethed. "Do remember who is at whose mercy right now, Revan. The power of the Forge could eliminate you here in mere moments."

"You talk big, fool."

Malak ignored her. "You will face her in a battle of the Force, and of will. The victor will become my apprentice, and the other shall be killed by the victor."

The blast door hissed open and Bastila strode in, looking far more confident than she felt – Revan could sense her unease, and she grinned. This would be easy. Malak probably knew it, too. Maybe this way she could rid herself of the annoying "bond". She thought how easier things were when she didn't always have to care about everyone else's' feelings. Then about her first encounter with Malak.

_"To see if you would _follow_ me. You did. And you will."_

"Begin," Malak's voice echoed, and Bastila came rushing at her. She wasn't very good at running, and probably not used to hand-to-hand combat, either, so Revan decided to rely on her fists and ran towards Bastila to meet her.

She had underestimated the other girl – Bastila force pushed Revan with startling strength. She flew across the arena and hit the wall hard, her head snapping back. She felt blood trickle down the side of her face, warm, salty, as it slid over her lip, but she ignored it, getting up and throwing a short bolt of Force lightning at Bastila. It hit, and stunned the sentinel for a moment, but she quickly shot back her own Force lightning, which Revan rushed to fend off with another bolt.

Revan had always preferred lightsabers to Force in battle, and fighting felt odd without her 'saber to help out. She'd already decided not to use her fists or anything of the like, as Bastila could easily fend off any close attack she tried to make with the Force.

Revan thought – only briefly – of what Malak might have done with her crew members, and anger flared up in her. She hit Bastila with a particularly powerful Force drain, the stolen energies feeding her anger, her power.

The other girl was severely weakened, but she still managed to retaliate and reciprocate the Force drain, she and Revan going at each other hit-for-hit and completely enveloped by their passions for blood and revenge.

Meanwhile, Carth wearily regained consciousness in a cell closed off by a force field. He vaguely recalled dark Jedi storming the _Hawk_. He remembered Revan, being carried by, unconscious. He'd been knocked out, too, and now he was here – it wasn't too hard to guess that he was on the Star Forge.

He looked over and saw Mission sleeping on a bunk next to his, not altogether peacefully, either. His face softened and he sighed. She was only fourteen. She didn't deserve for all of this to be happening to her.

Carth noted the two guards slumped tiredly against the walls by the force field, and another cell across from theirs. He craned his neck to look – their cells were at the far end of a short hallway, and past the other side of it where it met two other halls, he couldn't see anything but a patrol droid. He looked back to the other cell, which had a single figure seated against the wall farthest from him.

His own cell was dimly lit, and all else there was besides their meager bunks was a small door he assumed led to the refresher. There were no pillows or blankets. He was sure if there were cells without beds, Malak would gladly have made them sleep on the cold metal floor.

Carth leaned back on his bunk and sighed again, closing his eyes. He kept thinking of when Revan had kissed him, still feeling her lips on his, even her when he'd held her – and wishing _that_ kiss hadn't been their first. Wishing she hadn't done what she did.

He couldn't understand what had happened – if their captivity was Revan's plan, then why was she carried out unconscious? There was no fathomable reason for her to have lost consciousness. She was the strongest person on board. She wouldn't have just up and fainted, it wasn't like her.

And then he slumped with the sad realization that so short a time after he promised to protect her, she fell. He wasn't there to catch her. IF he had been there, would she have killed him, as she did Jolee and Juhani? Would he have been able to do anything, even if she didn't kill him?

What surprised him was that he wasn't angry. He still couldn't hate or blame her, and he was actually a lot calmer than he'd been in a long time. He didn't know what was coming next, or if he'd ever make it off the Forge, but he was okay with that.

"Hey, Carth," he heard Mission whisper. She appeared to have just woken up. He tilted his head and looked towards her.

"Yeah?"

"I'm… I'm afraid." She paused. "For Lizzy, I mean."

"I am too, Mission."

"I still can't believe she… turned on us."

"Me neither."

"What do you think Malak'll to do her?"

"I don't know." His heart skipped a beat to imagine her being tortured. He was reminded of when they were on the Leviathan, when he'd told her he would have cracked in her position.

_"No, don't hurt him!" Elizabeth cried, plainly dismayed. "Please, I beg you!" Saul __Karath__ responded only with a cruel smile. And then came the pain, nauseating pain that struck at every inch of him, but all he could think of was how strong she would be if it were happening to her…_

"Hello, Mission to Carth, are ya there, Carth-"

"Oh, sorry, Mission, I was… I was thinking."

Mission frowned and pressed her forehead against her bunk's thin cushioning. "Adults are so dumb. _I_ would never turn to the dark side. Y'know, if I were and Jedi and all."

"She probably thought she wouldn't either." Carth gazed at her, concerned, but she'd closed her eyes again.

"There's nothing to do here, anyhow," she grumbled, then shifted on her side, her back to him. He looked back up at the bare gray ceiling and closed his eyes.

It seemed like only a short while afterward, but he'd probably fallen asleep – enraged wookie roars came from down the hall. Carth and Mission hurriedly sat up and watched as Zaalbar was led to the force field. It went down, and he was pushed through by four Sith troops, then it went back up behind him. Zaalbar hit the ground with a dull thud, growling audibly.

"Big Z, oh no, they got you too!" Mission cried, rushing to the wookie's side. "Are you okay? What happened?"

/I turned on them. Lifedebt or no, I Will not serve such terrible creatures!/ Zaalbar said, and even Carth caught on to the emotion thick on his voice. Zaalbar turned over and got up.

"Did they hurt you?"

/No, Mission./ He was quiet for a moment. /It's good to see you again. I worried./

A grin broke out over the twi'lek's face, despite everything. She hugged Zaalbar tightly, completely unable to fit her arms around him, then led him by his furry arm to her bunk. "Tell us what you saw out there!" she said eagerly, then lowered her voice to a whisper so their guards didn't hear. "Is there any way to break out? We don't have those Jedi mind tricks to help us out, here."

/I saw a terminal on the way here, but it is far./

"Damn," Carth muttered, leaning over his knees. "Well, maybe we could work on the force field from inside here. We'd need to distract the guards, somehow."

/I could assist with that./

In the arena, Revan had won. She was weak, barely able to take each breath, drained and tired and bleeding from multiple places, but Bastila lay on the floor in front of her, unconscious. Beaten. She would not kill her. She would be useful, later. Her battle meditation was a valuable ally, and thankfully, Malak saw her way on that.

She grudgingly decided to allow Malak to be narcissistic – he always was as her apprentice. She could simply take back her rightful place when the time was right, when he thought he could trust her.

She knelt before Malak, resigned herself to him, he watching her all the while with triumph, and if she saw right, even lust. But she had other things on her mind. Trigger-happy things.

* * *

Author comments: Who do YOU know that's trigger-happy? && Hidden relationship between Bastila + Malak, maybe, yes? He's sure fun to make out with, ne? OMGSEXINTHENEXTCHAPTER D 

In case you people can't figure out what's happening. Lol.


	10. Escape!

It was night, Revan presumed, or would be if the Star Forge had a sun. She was allowed, quite carelessly, free roam of the Forge. Malak had never been one to care for little details, often even big ones.

And _that is why the only way he could defeat me was by attacking my already assaulted ship_, she mused, stepping quietly down the oversized metallic corridors. _Coward._

Everywhere took forever to get to in the Forge. Each important place was parsecs away from every other. _I have to take the elevator each time I need to use the 'fresher, by the Force!_ She thought. The place was too big for its own good. Even with the cursed star map hunt it was far too easy to see.

She slipped silently into the soldier dormitory and tip-toed to Canderous's bunk, nudging his shoulder. He blinked and looked at her, seemingly startled- he hadn't been sleeping, she could tell. She held a finger to his lips, motioning for him to be silent. He got up as quietly as he could – truthfully not very quiet – and followed her away to her own, private room, the door hissing shut behind them.

Finally he broke the silence. "What's this about, Revan?" he asked, his head cocked to the side, his arms folded over his chest. "Something wrong?"

"No, nothing at all." She sidled up to him and draped her arms around his neck, smiling mischievously. "I couldn't sleep."

He looked to her eyes and saw fired lust there, felt the companionable warmth coming from every part of her, and his own desires stirred. Feelings he thought he was done with. Passions he never needed or wanted. He swallowed hard and remained stiff, never taking his eyes from hers. "Revan…"

She leaned forward, her lips brushing the side of his face, and a shiver ran down his spine. "You want this. I can tell," she whispered. "I do too."

His heart was pounding like a herd of banthas. He leaned into her and breathed, taking in her scent, every sense there was with which he could know this moment. She was right. He wanted her. More than anything else he'd ever wanted in his life, and he only just realized it.

She drew back from him and he almost stumbled to follow her. She strode over – yes, there was no other way to describe how she moved, as he watched her every movement- a strong, confident gait that said she knew he _would_ follow her, anywhere, through anything. And somewhere in his mind he knew she was only using him. But he told himself that he didn't care.

She beckoned to him, laying on her bed, and he came to her. They became enveloped in their passions, oblivious to everything else, in the heat, the lust...

At first, Canderous worried it had been too long since he'd last done it, but soon enough he forgot everything.

**,.-::-.,.-::-.,.-::-.,.-::-.,.-::-.,**

Canderous left before Revan woke up, but took a few minutes to gaze at her sleeping face. It was the oddest feeling, but he knew he'd preferred her before she turned, without the faintest idea why. In her sleep, her expression was so serene. It was almost possible to believe that she wasn't serving Malak, that she didn't aim to rule the galaxy… Almost. But he didn't regret what happened.

She woke to the empty bed with indifference. She had other things to take care of, ambitions to fulfill.

Revan took her time dressing. She still wore her blue Jedi robes, because she liked the way they brought out her blue eyes, which now certainly needed some coaxing to appear blue at all. She liked the way they felt on her, for they'd been through many, _many_ battles with her. Her fingers brushed against a quick fix she'd stitched when she got singed by a blaster on her right shoulder. She remembered how Carth took down the perpetrator only seconds afterwards.

But Revan banished those thoughts as she swept down the corridors, her dark blue robes billowing out behind her, her lightsaber clenched in her hand. She had one thing on her mind: Malak's death.

Meanwhile, Carth and his companions were making a grand escape. Mission had studied the door system for quite some time. Zaalbar played madclaw, the guards tried to subdue him… Mission got the field down and they proceeded to attack the guards. They needed only push them back into the cell and put the field back up, and that's just what they did.

Before leaving, Carth looked through the Force Field of the cell opposite theirs. "Hey," he called. "Do you need help?"

"No," an old woman's voice responded. "And you would do well to leave. More guards are coming." This time she appeared to have been meditating, sitting in the center of her cell. Two white braids rested on her shoulders, and a hood covered the upper half of her face.

As Carth, Mission, and Zaalbar made off to the console Zaalbar had seen, they wondered at an old woman being taken prisoner.

"It wouldn't surprise me if she were a Jedi," Carth said. "This place is probably crawling with them – dark ones, anyway."

"Yeah," Mission said quietly. "So how are we gonna find her? How can the three of us get through legions of dark Jedi?"

"We'll just have to use stealth," he whispered. Carth smiled, picturing himself in an attempted sneak, tripping and toppling over.

Revan reached the command center at a brisk walk. Malak wasn't waiting for her there, so she jogged to his meditation chamber, practically bouncing with nervous energy. This was what she had been working for all this time, Malak's fall, this was her purpose, and soon it would be fulfilled. But not in the tiny meditation chamber of his, oh no, it would be somewhere she could move easily, somewhere far from those Jedi of Dantooine he kept on the brink of death. He would not use that silly tactic against her.

He was there, as she'd guessed, but he wasn't meditating any longer, probably since he'd sensed her coming. He looked pathetic, now. She wondered why she didn't kill him when she'd had the chance to on the Leviathan, and she wished Bastila could be there when her precious master fell.

"What is it, Revan?" Malak hissed. He pushed back his cape with one hand, as he often did, and folded his arms over his chest in an attempt to seem menacing, which he also often did.

Revan smiled at him, as convincingly as she could. "I found a weird holocron. I want you to look at it with me."

Malak narrowed his eyes at her, then consented. "Alright… I trust that you are not wasting my time."

Revan shook her head. "I have it in the port gallery." She turned and started back down the corridor, Malak close behind.

Carth and his companions were sneaking as quickly and competently as they could (Mission figuring now was not the best time to train her clumsy friends in stealth) through hall after room after hall. At one point they found themselves in a storage room. They equipped themselves with armor and blasters, and a few medpacks, just in case. Carth picked up a case from a footlocker that contained a cushioned syringe.

He read the label aloud. "Tranquilizer. Specialized for use on Jedi." There were several more small cases of the shots in the footlocker. Carth frowned. "I think we'll need these."

"She sure won't come willingly, huh." Mission said, a sad smile on her face. Then she shook it off, and smiled for real, and Carth smiled back. He couldn't help it. Mission's good spirit was contagious. "What should we do if it works?" she asked.

"We should go to Kashyyyk… Freyrr will welcome us, I'm sure, after we helped him… After _she_ helped him."

/It will be nice to go home again,/ Zaalbar bleated.

"Well, let's get going," Carth said. "We've got to find her to knock her out."

Malak was kneeling over the table in the port gallery, studying the holocron Revan had put there. "This one is unfamiliar to me," he said. "It's not from the Forge's archive."

"I know, I found it on Manaan," she replied. "I don't know how to play it."

"Hmm." He leaned farther over and turned the holocron over in his hands.

Revan had, in fact, built it herself, during the quieter moments on the _Hawk_. She didn't know what she'd need it for, if she ever would, but it provided something methodic and calming to put herself to. It was tinged blue and a little smaller than most holocrons. She was pretty proud of her work, too, and intended to save it until it could come to good use. She would have to steer the battle away from her holocron, for surely Malak was just clumsy enough to hit it…

A rush of adrenaline hit her, and she decided she didn't want to wait for him to take her holocron apart. She took a hasty step towards him, lighting her saber. She could have just as easily lit it straight into his back, but that would be sinking down to his level. It wouldn't be nearly as fun, anyway.

Malak spun around and lit his saber. "What is this, Revan?" he hissed furiously.

"You betrayed me," she replied coolly. "Should it not only make sense for me to return the favor?"

Their lightsabers clashed, sending sparks flying.

Carth's skin prickled with unease. He suddenly felt a burning urgency to find her.

"Come on, guys," he said quietly, and picked up his pace. Mission and Zaalbar exchanged a confused look and jogged after him.

Carth wasn't bothering with being quiet, now. He had one thing on his mind, and that was finding her and getting her out of here before… Before what? He just had a feeling that if he didn't, something terrible would happen.

Revan glanced at her lightsaber. The crystal she was using was still blue, and the colors wavered before her eyes, an eerie wave of nausea washing over her. She blinked, and it passed, but it still gave Malak an opening, which he took. She had to hop back on her toes and rush to block him.

Footsteps sounded in the halls around the port gallery, but she ignored them and swung at Malak again, again, trying to drive him back into a corner. He realized what she was doing and circled around her, and she cried out in frustration.

The footsteps grew louder and were ringing in her ears, along with the buzzing of their lightsabers. Malak perked up and looked around, apparently hearing the footsteps, too. Then he turned and sped off out of the room.

Revan missed the blow meant for where he was moments ago, and tripped forward, just barely managing to stabilize herself before tumbling to the ground. She swayed, then screamed in fury. She was just about to take off after him, when she felt arms wrapping around her, holding her arms to her side, and a vaguely familiar voice yelling "now!".

Mission jabbed the tranquilizer in Revan's thigh, and Carth moved his arms to catch her as she fell limp.

* * *

Author Comments: I've finished writing the whole thing, and I have an idea for two preceding fanfics as well as two intertwined songfics... But they're all being drunken tavern wenches in my mind and not offering the tiniest bit of leeway for, y'know, creative thought of any sort. Sorry for the blatantly vague, crappy sex scene. I guess you can envision it as a long makeout session or something. -cough cough-... Yeah... Enjoy. 

P.S. Please still inform me of spacing wrong-o's and any other errors you might possibly find.

P.P.S. Wrong-o's could be a breakfast cereal. LOL.


	11. Imprisoned Again

Carth went alone this time, for subtlety's sake, to find their crew and bring them along. The droids were in the droid bay, obviously, and it only took a little urging to get HK to cooperate. It hadn't crossed Carth's mind at all to look for Bastila.

Revan was in their care and control at this point, and while Carth would not nor allow anyone else to hurt her, those who'd followed her didn't know that. He used their lack of knowledge of him to his advantage in persuasion. He found out from HK where Canderous was and brought the droids with him in case he got trouble from the Sith. He didn't bother to be subtle or quiet after he'd found them, since that would only be more suspicious than striding around without a care, which is what he _tried_ to do, but only ended up feeling silly, especially since he heard HK chuckling at him behind his back.

Canderous seemed startled that he was there, with good reason. He'd been in an elsewise empty training room, beating down a battle droids, sweaty and grunting. He jumped when Carth entered the room.

"What are _you_ doing here, Republic?" Canderous growled. He hooked his vibroblade to his belt and threw a towel around his neck.

Carth shrugged. "I escaped. Revan is on the ship." He looked on quietly as Canderous dried his face and his chest's heaving slowed. "You need to come with us."

"I don't _need_ to do anything." He paused. "Where are y'all going?"

"Kashyyyk."

"Ugh. Wookies."

"Would you prefer Tatooine?" Carth said shortly.

Canderous grimaced. Cleaning sand from multiple orifices, every single day. And then there'd been the faceoff with Jagi. He'd take the Wookies over those grim memories any day. "No. But who says I'm going?"

Carth seemed to think for a while. Canderous saw several emotions pass over his face, mostly solemn sadness, but eventually he said, "Well, we've got Revan. You won't stay here without her to… Be with."

Canderous glared at the pilot, feeling his personal experiences violated, but he'd already agreed in his mind to leave. He might have leaved soon anyway, if Revan hadn't done what she did, but on his own…

Because the moment she touched him, his carefully placed and built-up defenses dissolved one-by-one. Because the moment she touched him, he knew he would do anything for her, beyond any reasoning.

So he nodded briefly, then grinned. "Can't do anything without me, eh?"

Carth allowed himself a small smile. "Sure, Canderous. Whatever helps you sleep at night." He left the room, but Canderous got ahead of him and led the way back to the _Hawk_.

Carth settled down into the familiar pilot's seat and started on the departure sequence. He'd collected all of the crew, except Bastila, and he found himself wondering with some concern where she was. Then an overwhelming fatigue washed over him. He guided them away from the Star Forge, then punched in the coordinates for Kashyyyk. The stars stretched before him as the ship slipped into hyperspace.

He trudged over to the med bay and gazed at Revan for a while, at the makeshift bindings that would never hold her when she woke up. He told the passing T3 to get a neural band on her in a few hours, then collapsed onto his bed in the port dormitory.

He wished away the years. He wished away the ages and the cares and the wrinkled foreheads and the pain and destruction. He wished he could be 8 again, on Telos, sit in his mother's lap and she would brush his hair out of his face and kiss his forehead and nothing in the entire galaxy could possibly be bad. He wished he could run in the grass that would scratch his legs and laugh and not have to organize a crew or give commands or pilot a damned ship. Maybe once this was all over, if it would be in his lifetime, he would just go to Lehon and lay on the beach and sleep.

So they had escaped with Revan… But what would they do with her now that they had her? What could they do about Malak? How could the Republic destroy the Forge while it's churning out fighters as they fire on it? And they still had Bastila's battle meditation against them… There was virtually no chance of victory. The dreadful, heavy feeling that he had done something terribly wrong descended upon Carth's mind.

**,.-::-.,.-::-.,.-::-.,.-::-.,.-::-.,**

Revan woke up comfortably for the first time in a while. She was on a stuffed mattress placed carefully on a whicker bed frame. The last thing she remembered was being on the Star Forge, and Malak ran from her again… Oh. And then she'd been knocked out, for the second time, by that Force-damned Jedi tranquilizer.

She pushed herself up and looked around. She could immediately tell where she was. Kashyyyk, probably Rwookrrorro, but between the whicker frames of the wall were metal panels. She hadn't recalled any metal-walled rooms on Kashyyyk, except that Czerka station, and that one didn't have whicker at all…

She swung her legs around the side of the bed, but when she tried to get up, she swooned, then had to sit back down- nausea struck her when she'd moved up, a vein around her brain thumping in overtime.

She flourished her hand to Force heal, but nothing happened. She did it again. Her head was pounding. Still, nothing. She took a closer look at the panels, beside her head, pressed her hand against the cool metal, and then it struck her.

A force restraint room.

"FRACK!" she screamed, pounding her fist on the wall. The noise rang out, which only made her head – and her hand – hurt more. She had no use of the Force here, and her lightsaber was gone. She was as useless and _powerless_ as a Force-blind!

She got up and staggered over to the door, trying to ignore her headache, and that she felt like she was about to empty her stomach all over the floor. She pressed the door mechanism. Locked.

Dread and anger settled in her gut. They had her trapped, whoever had her – she was trapped and powerless and she had no idea why she was hurting so badly. But she didn't want to think anymore, about anything. She managed to stumble most of the way back to her bed, settled on the floor next to it, and fell uneasily into sleep.

She woke several hours later with a clear head. When she got up, she felt nothing, except the sore indents from the whicker on her skin. She smelled like sweat and Wookies, so she raided the baskets in the room, set aside clean Jedi robes, and went to shower in the refresher. She would only wear those until she'd washed her old blue ones, which she expected she'd been wearing several days in a row.

With the hot water streaming down her in the shower, she sorted her thoughts out. As long as she got what she needed in here, she would wait to find out her situation before any brash actions. There wasn't any reason to rush, now. Malak would be there for her to… Eliminate, once her imprisonment was over.

As she stepped out of the shower she heard the door slide open. She wrapped a towel around her, smoothed her black hair back, and stepped out of the 'fresher, one hand holding her towel up.

Carth was there, rubbing the back of his beck, looking startled that she wasn't dressed. A deep red blush crawled over his face. Revan glared at him. "You look better tied down," she said coolly, then grabbed her clothes and walked straight back into the 'fresher to change.

Carth's voice came in from the other room. "You've probably already figured out you're on Kashyyyk. The, uh, the Jedi had another enclave, here. Vrook and Vandar, they'd left Dantooine for something, they wouldn't tell me, but either way, they weren't there when it was fired on. Zhar and Dorak weren't as lucky."

"Serves them right," came her reply, muffled, as she pulled a cream-colored tunic over her head.

Carth was quiet for a moment. "We can't trust what you'd do if you defeated Malak, but so far you're the only one likely to beat him…"

"_We_ can't? Fabulous, you've joined them!" Her voice was dripping with sarcasm.

He sighed. "So you're being kept here until the Jedi masters decide what to do."

"Oh, so we're waiting for them, are we- I'll be in here for years, then. Might as well make myself comfortable." She emerged from the refresher, fully dressed, and threw the towel at Carth. He wasn't prepared for it, and it hit him in the face. "Get that cleaned for me, 'kay?"

He pulled it off and glared at her, silent.

"Oh, don't look at me like that, Flyboy. I have every right to be angry at y'all."

"You killed Jolee and Juhani." His voice was cold as ice.

She merely shrugged it off. "Worse's been done. And you better damn well expect it to be done again if they decide to wipe my memory."

"Revan," Carth said, raising his voice. "This isn't you. If… If you were good, at any point, then that goodness is and always will be a part of you."

"_Carth_," she replied haughtily, raising her voice to match his. "The 'goodness' was _fake_. Whatever _delusion_ is blinding you, this is who I really am."

"Delusion!? Listen, sister, if you think-"

"If I think _what_?! I think _I_ of all people would know who _I_ am. Not some naïve, whiney, stubborn pilot!"

"A change in allegiance doesn't mean you have to become an… an obnoxious _schutta_!"

"That _stings_, Flyboy. It really does."

"Stop calling me that."

"I can call you whatever I damn well please."

"You are so frustrating!" Carth's chest was heaving, his face red. It almost felt like old times. Almost.

"Of course I'm frustrating. People who are _locked up_ and _powerless_ tend to get a _little_ testy!"

"Like you wouldn't kill us all as we slept if we let you roam?"

"Of course not. That wouldn't be any fun."

"Yeah, because mass slaughter of innocent creatures is a great pastime."

"You, innocent, Flyboy? You're more delusional than I thought."

"I didn't mean me!"

"You think I wouldn't kill you?"

Carth was stunned. He wouldn't have admitted it, but he wanted to believe that she wouldn't kill him, that she hadn't fallen that far. He remained quiet at that, thinking.

Revan saw she'd hit a nerve, and smiled cattily. "I wouldn't hesitate had I the means," she said quietly.

Carth shook his head slowly. "You wouldn't."

She didn't like the sureness in his voice. "You're wrong there, Onasi. I don't care about any of you, anymore."

"But you used to," he persisted. "And I don't believe your conscience has just disappeared. Elizabeth Salo is in there. You just don't want to find her."

Revan fumed at him. "Go space yourself!" she shouted, wishing more than ever that she had Force lightning. Why was what he was saying getting to her so much?

He narrowed his eyes at her, and turned to leave. Revan stormed around him and slapped him, even harder than last time. He raised his hand to where he'd been slapped, not seeming surprised. He shoved her roughly aside and left, the hiss of the closing door a lonely and solemn sound. Revan stared after where he'd been, surprised that he'd done anything against her.

And to her surprise, she felt a small pang of guilt for the way she'd treated him. She tried to shake it off, along with the stunned expression, but the feeling just settled in her gut along with the others. She curled up on her bed and started up at the whicker ceiling.

A Jedi enclave, here, on Kashyyyk. Oddest place she'd ever heard of to put a Jedi anything. Except maybe Korriban. She wondered how they managed to hide it from the Wookies _and_ Czerka.

She let her thoughts wander, and began to play out different ways of destroying Malak in her head. She didn't know how much time had passed, but she jolted up when the door hissed open, and a young girl, maybe 11, was standing in the doorway. She had a bag slung over her shoulder, and she was wearing Jedi robes.

She was rather plain looking – she had brown hair, brown eyes, and a dusting of freckles across her nose. Her stance was confident and she strode right over to Revan's bedside without faltering. "Some of the other padawans tell me you're a dark lord," she said, giving no sign of whether or not she believed it.

Revan laughed. "I am, but not much of one, right now. No use of Force in here." She waved her right hand as though that proved it.

"My name's Nia'la."

"Revan."

Nia'la gasped. "_The_ Revan? From the Mandalorian wars?"

"You were alive back then, pipsqueak?

The sarcasm was lost on her. "Of course I was! But we've learned about 'em anyway."

"And you're not afraid of me?"

"Nope. I woulda done the same thing." She paused, then giggled. "But don't tell Vrook."

Revan laughed, too. "He is terribly prone to lectures, isn't he? I think he spends his free time writing them."

Nia'la grinned. "You're not so bad," she said. Then she turned the bag over on the bed. Out tumbled four mid-sized packets, and two datapads, one of which fell off the edge and onto the floor.

"What's all this?" Revan asked while Nia'la picked up the fallen datapad and placed it on the bed.

"Four books worth of reading material," she said, pointing to the datapads, "and food for a week," pointing to the packets.

"Great," Revan said, picking up one of the datapads, twirling it around between her fingers. "So why didn't Vrookey come himself, eh?"

Nia'la laughed. "You think they'd tell me anything?" She paused, then made a face. "I think I've been employed as a servant girl."

"I don't want a servant girl."

"Good. 'Cus I won't be one." She glanced around, leaned forward, and poked Revan on the forehead. Revan stared at her, bewildered, and Nia'la turned and skipped towards the exit. "My friends dared me!" she cooed, and with that, she disappeared out the door.

* * *

Author Comments: I rather like this section. 3 Nia'la is my first original character. I have a pic of her on my sheezy account, which is linked to in my profile... The next sections are full of lovely flashbacks. Yaaay, flashbacks! That means I get to fill up more space with little snippets of the story I can tell without having to write out the entire story from the beginning! HOOZAH! Enjoy your chapters. Please visit 3&4 as their life is draining and I don't want to have to re-post. 


	12. Memories

_The woman tossed and turned in her bed, her eyebrows linked, groaning. Carth watched her uneasy sleep and frowned. She'd been out for two days straight, and the wounds on her had been pretty bad. He didn't know anything about medical things – he cleaned the cuts and used a __medpack__ on her, hoping it would work until she could go and see a real doctor. But if they were trying to not draw attention, it wouldn't help to pop up into the hospital covered in blaster wounds and vibroblade cuts. How could he explain that away?_

_She made another noise and he glanced up at her. He was leaning over his knees in one of the almost-broken chairs of the abandoned apartment, his hands clasped together. He rubbed his knuckle with his thumbs worriedly. While she was so uneasy, he found himself unable to sleep._

_He thought briefly of how they'd gotten here. She'd had to sit on his lap, in the escape pod, and she'd hit her head on the wall of the pod during their bumpy landing. He'd only just managed to stay stable. He'd picked her up and ran as fast as he could, not looking back to see if the __Tarisians__ or the __Sith__ had some to investigate. No people were out, since it was the dead of night, but __Sith__ officers were probably patrolling..._

_She'd seemed so light, like she hardly ate. Their pod had been on fire, and the __Sith__ were likely headed towards them. His lungs were burning from all the smoke he'd breathed, and like a safe haven in front of him, apartments, and he could only hope that one was empty. He __ran,__ ran through the empty corridors, checking each door, until finally, an empty, seemingly abandoned room, where they could hide until everything calmed down, where they'd stay until they could find Bastila…_

_Then he thought of the _Endar Spire_, and how many people had died on it, and he sighed.__He and this woman were the only survivors aside from Bastila, and it was up to them to save her, but their chances weren't looking good by the fever dreams the woman was having. It struck him that he didn't even know her name._

_He slipped a datapad from the pocket of his orange flight jacket, flipping through the crew records until he'd found her. Her data read:_

_"Name: Elizabeth Salo.__  
Sex: Female.__  
Appearance: Blue eyes/black hair__  
Skills: Knowledge of excess of 100 alien languages.  
__Vibroblade specialty and average blaster use.  
__Has explored high number of planets."_

_Carth frowned. Most records had a lot more info than that. Hers lacked any kind of background. He noted she'd been a last-minute addition to the crew, requested by Bastila herself. Nothing else was there._

_In her picture, she was smiling, and she had a very pretty smile, but her eyes seemed distant, like there were very bad memories bubbling up on the surface of her mind._

_Carth put away the datapad and leaned back in his chair, deciding he'd try and catch up on some sleep._

_Elizabeth jolted up with a scream, several hours later. She'd seen so many things. A young Jedi woman, fighting the __Sith__, being watched by a figure in a dark cloak, wearing a bloodstone mask._

_She was sweating, breathing hard, heart beating rapidly. She closed her eyes and took her time to calm down. The figure had been terrifying. Elizabeth felt far too familiar with it than she would've liked._

_When she finally opened her eyes again, she scrambled backwards and fell off her bed, hitting the floor with a loud thump and a pained yelp. _There's a man in my room! Some strange man! _She thought. _What… What the _frack_ did I _do_ last night?! Wait!

_She remembered who he was._ That Carth man, from the Endar Spire, but where am I? Why are we in such a crappy apartment?

_She poked her head over the side of the bed. __Force, that__ man could sleep! He was still totally knocked out, snoring loud enough to scare off a __Krayt__ Dragon. She giggled at the mental image, __then__ crawled back onto her bed._

_She glanced around the room, sparsely furnished with broken or breaking chairs and a battered footlocker. There was only one bed, and she felt a little bad for taking it from him, sine he'd probably not had much sleep._

_Her thoughts were interrupted by a particularly loud snore._

_She glared at him and grabbed her pillow, then aimed and threw straight for his head – perfect hit. He jolted awake and threw the pillow to the ground._

_"What was that for?!" he shouted at her, smoothing back his hair. Two unruly chestnut brown strands flopped back over his right eye._

_"You were snoring too loud!" Elizabeth snapped, just barely stopping herself from bursting into laughter._

_He stared at her incredulously, __then__ shook himself. "You're up," he said._

_"What was your first clue?"_

_"Are you okay?"_

_"Uh, I had some __weird, freaky__ dreams, my head hurts, and I seem to be bruised. __In many, many places."_

_"You got knocked out in the escape pod."_

_"To where?__ Where _are _we?"_

_"Taris.__ We're on Taris. You've been out for two days. And you hit your head pretty hard – I'm not surprised you had some strange dreams."_

_Elizabeth reached back and felt her head, and sure enough, there was a lump the size of a __frag__ grenade on the back of her head. Touching it sent a jolt of pain and nausea straight through her. She swayed, then __layed__ uneasily back down as Carth lurched forward to try to help her. "Ouch," she said quietly._

_He leaned over her, his face wrought with worry. "I tried to speed the healing a bit, but I don't really know…"_

_She waved her hand nonchalantly and forced a smile. "__It's__ fine, Carth – that's your name, right? Carth __Onasi__."_

_He smiled a little. __"Yeah.__ And you're Elizabeth, right?"_

_She nodded, __then__ looked around again. "How'd we get in this dump?"_

_"__Er__, we crashed here. You were out cold, so I had to carry you here – first abandoned apartment I found. We're in the Upper-"_

_"So you saved my life," she said, interrupting him. "Thanks." She gave him a genuine smile._

_He smiled back, rather sheepishly. "It wasn't a big deal. I've never left a man behind, and I'm not about to start."_

_"Oh, sure, playing humble, are we? Well, thank you, anyway. And for the record, I'm not a man." Her face was __so__ serious as she said the latter that Carth burst out laughing._

_"I don't think I've ever met a woman quite like you," he said between chuckles._

_"I should think that's a good thing."_

**,.-::-.,.-::-.,.-::-.,.-::-.,.-::-.,**

Revan was awake, but she kept her eyes closed. She moved her shoulders to a more comfortable position, quiet, listening to her clothes rustle with the movement, to the noises of the forest outside her room.

It had been several days, now, since her imprisonment, each of which she'd been visited by Nia'la, and once by Canderous. It was the oddest thing to her, that she got so much… Comfort, just by sitting across from him on the floor, not speaking a word. Neither of them had said anything. They hadn't needed to.

She tried to read the datapads, a fictional story and a history book and she didn't care to figure out what else, she always ended up sprawled over her bed, or sitting in the shower with the water on low and warm – like the rain on Dxun, when she'd gone there a year or so ago, before she'd signed on for the _Endar__ Spire_.

It was a surprising offer, as she'd never worked for the Republic before, or done much more than explore the various places of the galaxy, and the odd smuggling job. She'd probably not done a whole lot before then, before the Mandalorian wars. The job didn't pay very well, but it was something to do, and she got more chances to sleep that way, without worrying about waking up with a blaster at her head.

She thought about these kinds of things as the hours dragged sluggishly on, day melding into day until she completely lost her sense of time.

Occasionally she'd get the headaches, and once it had been bad enough that she fell to the floor, screaming, writhing in pain and clutching her head. It didn't last long, since she hit her head on her bedframe and got knocked out. When she woke up, Carth was leaning over her, appearing terrified for her. By then the headache had left her (aside from the dull pain from the lump on her head) and she told him to leave.

The nausea and the dizziness came more often, but it was usually mild enough to deal with, and she hadn't thrown up yet. A begrudged fear of this sickness was what made her not tell anyone, even Nia'la, and why she spent more time lounging and thinking than anything else.

About a week had past, Revan guessed, and Nia'la visited her several times a day. Truth be told, Revan enjoyed the company. She'd have figured all the time alone would have driven her mad, or at least given her the time to work up her anger, stroking it in silence until she cracked and strangled the next person to come through her door, but she was completely calm. More so than she'd been in quite a while.

Living without use of the Force was… Odd. She felt like a part of her was missing, but that she was almost glad it was gone, like she had a great weight lifted from her, and she could finally stop slumping. Despite that, she felt empty, hollow, stripped of something important to her.

Nia'la burst in one day with a tray of little cakes – she was an aspiring cook, using Revan as her culinary lab rat – but Revan wasn't there, so she set the tray down by the door and looked for her in the 'fresher. And there she was, head pressed to the side of the shower, crying.

Nia'la turned the shower off and helped Revan dry off – she wasn't trying to move, just sobbing and shaking her head. Nia'la finally got her seated on the bed, and nearly shoved one of the cakes in her mouth.

"What's wrong?" she demanded, lowering her head to look Revan in the eye.

She simply shook her head more, as she swallowed the first cake. "I don't know, I just, I just…"

Nia'la handed her another cake. Revan just took it, left in her hand. "Vrook'd tell you to clear your mind or something. Have more cake. Nothing's better for your mood than a good ol' bunch of sweets," she said matter-of-factly.

Revan took another, now had two, and only nibbled a little on one of them, her sobs quieting. She wiped her face with her sleeve.

Nia'la looked at her for a few moments. "You know," she said quietly. "You're pretty. And your face don't turn red like mine does, when you cry. I get all red and splotchy."

The compliment startled Revan. She finished off the cake, her cries lowered down into the occasional sharp breath. She still didn't speak.

Nia'la continued speaking. "You're the first grown-up I've seen cry. It's a lil' weird, you know? You expect 'em to be strong all the time. Like nothing ever can bother them. And if they can't handle things, how can we be expected to, right?"

Revan nodded a little, then hiccoughed, the other cake dropping from her hand. She was so startled by it that she started giggling, hiccoughing again and again between giggles. Nia'la smiled, then began laughing, too, until both were in a pointless fit of laughter, sprawled all over the bed, breathless, red-faced, and Revan knew she had crumbs of cake stuck in the little folds of her robe.

It took a while, but they gradually calmed down. Revan buried her grinning face in her pillow. "Thanks," she mumbled into it. That was the first time she had laughed, honestly, in a while – the last she could remember was when she'd spoken with Mission, right before the Sunry trial. Even then it had been short.

"I don't let people stay sad. Sadness ain't worth it." She nodded, glanced around, then scooted over behind Revan and started playing with her hair. She pulled out the ponytail and began combing her fingers through it. "The masters scold me a lot," she said quietly. "They don't yell, but it makes me feel awful. Like what I'm tryin' for is pointless 'cus I'll never make it."

"Like you're not good enough," Revan said. "Everything and everyone around you is larger and greater than you'll ever be, and you don't deserve whatever good's happening to you."

"Yeah. That's just it. Maybe I shouldn't be a Jedi. I mean, I won't go an' kill people or nothin', but I just don't seem to fit here. I'm a piece for the wrong puzzle."

"You shouldn't give up on something if you want to do it. Even if it seems like you won't succeed." She paused. "Oh, Force, I'm getting all prophetical."

Nia'la was quiet for a moment. "Why were you crying?"

"Like I said, I don't really know. I just…" Revan seemed to consider it for a moment. Nia'la told her to stop tipping her head. "I feel like I've been missing something, for a while. I don't mean the Force though. Like something's been wrong for a long time but I've been blind to it. I think that's it."

"I woulda thought it from the pain."

"P-pain? What do you mean?"

"Carth told me he found you knocked out. He heard you screaming. I wouldn't expect someone to be screaming without bein' in pain, or out of their right mind, and you don't seem to be the latter."

"Damnit, Onasi…" Revan muttered.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there."

"Oh. It's fine. I was okay when I woke up… Eh, you talk to the rest of the crew?"

"Yeah." She was braiding Revan's hair now, making lots of little ones that began to swing around her head gaily, like noiseless black windchimes.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"You didn't ask."

"Well, I'm asking now."

"They talk about you sometimes. But I can't understand that little droid, and the big one is annoying."

Revan chuckled. "There's HK for you."

"Yeah, well, I wish his stupid blaster rifles would explode. Anyways, Mission is real nice to me. She helped me bake these." She gestured to her cakes. "And Carth promised to teach me to fly."

"Mmm." She absently picked up another cake, downing it in two bites.

They were silent for a while. Nia'la finished braiding Revan's hair, then leaned so her head was resting on the other girl's shoulder.

"What time is it?" Revan asked after a few minutes.

"Four hours 'till sundown."

"Right."

Again things were quiet.

Revan felt she needed to try. It had been long enough for her to be stuck in here, and she still had a Malak to kill. The longer they lounged about on Kashyyyk, waiting for the council to pop a blood vessel, the longer Malak had to carelessly destroy what she could have as easily taken over. She had a friend, here.

"Nia'la," Revan said quietly. "Would you help me with something, if I really needed it?"

"That'd depend."

"I need to kill Malak."

"But-"

"Nia'la, it would only be helping to do what the council would decide to do anyway, but later… With more damage done by Malak, and a higher likelihood for us to have been found here."

"I get you, I get you, but everyone keeps sayin' you'll just take Malak's place."

"You can tell them, but only after I'm gone."

Nia'la scrunched up her face and tried to think of how it could possibly backfire. She wanted to trust her friend, no matter her past, and not be judgmental… She tried to think what _would_ be the right thing to do… Her trust was being stretched, though, a thread being pulled too tight. It didn't snap.

"…Okay," Nia'la said finally, very, very quietly. "What do I need to do?"

* * *

Author Comments: Yay, flashbacks! Flashbacks are the awesome! I don't like the next chapter, I love the one after it, like a few parts of the one after that, like one part of the one after that, and then love the little one after that. Oh, frack! 19 chapters! NOT COOL, NOT COOL! I uh... Maybe I'll combine two or something. I'm sure not writing another one! Gurgle... 

Oh, well, I've written one of the songfics and I think I'll keep it at that one for the subject they were both to be about, and one of the other fanfic wenches is now sober and I've almost finished the first chapter. It's quite lovely. Full of angst and whatnot. YAY, ANGST!


	13. To the Forge

_"__Ptth__ This place is as dusty as Tatooine is sandy!" Mission shouted. She shook her head briskly and spat on the ground._

_"I know," Elizabeth replied. "Don't remind me. It's... Uh, well, it's not _too_ much longer. At least it's better out here than in those __Shyrack__ caves." She brushed her hair (which was sticky with sweat and dust) from her face and sighed."__Argh__, I'm already thirsty!"_

_"Hey, we should keep moving," Carth said over the whistling of the wind. "There are three tombs to get to."_

_"You're no fun." Elizabeth stuck her tongue out at him and immediately regretted it. She stuck it back in, spluttering- dust had covered it like fur._

_Carth laughed, __then__ covered his mouth with his hand. His voice came through muffled. "Whatever you say, beautiful, but either way, we gotta go. Gonna be better in the tombs than out here."_

_"Gross," Mission remarked quietly. She trekked after Carth and Elizabeth as they proceeded through the Valley of the Lords._

**,.-::-.,.-::-.,.-::-.,.-::-.,.-::-.,**

Revan got up wearily from her bed, awoken by the knock on the door. Nia'la was to pass by after everyone had departed to their rooms, unlock the door, pass on to avoid any blame. She'd gone through with it, a little to the surprise of Revan. She quickly got dressed and headed out of her two-week's prison. Nia'la had told her which landing pad the _Ebon Hawk_ was on, but she'd decided she would take one of the Czerka ships, which would be by far less obvious than the _Ebon Hawk_ suddenly being missing. She also fully expected to have to hide from wandering people, maybe even Wookies, but no one was out.

She was tense and warily stepping over the bridges that hung over the Shadowlands. It was dark, very dark, since the trees very nearly blocked out what little light there was from Kashyyyk's moon. She heard the boughs swaying above her, alive, whispering, even though she felt no wind.

Revan sighed and rubbed her sleeves of her blue Jedi robes, again, cold even though it was uncomfortably humid. She wondered if she could fly as well as she used to – she was so used to having Carth pilot them everywhere. It would be weird, to be sure.

And then there was the Czerka ship, in front of her, perched like a korrina on the landing pad, dull in the dim light. Revan gazed grimly at the ship for a moment, her mission heavy on her mind, then strode forward towards the loading ramp.

**,.-::-.,.-::-.,.-::-.,.-::-.,.-::-.,**

_Carth yawned and stretched his arms behind his back. His jacket was off and hung over his shoulder, for the dry heat, and Elizabeth had to admire how well-toned his muscles were, that she could see outlined under his shirt. She herself had rolled up her sleeves and loosened her tunic._

_The sand __swirled__ around in the air and flew off the tops of the dunes like whitecaps. The suns were beating down on their backs and the wind didn't help anything. It was the kind of heat that was as dry as __paper, that__ seemed to suck all the moisture out of your skin. Tatooine… Not the most pleasant place to be. Especially not in super-modest Jedi robes. _

_Carth cast a sidelong glance at Elizabeth and she quickly looked away, but he hadn't seemed to notice her admiring him. "__Er__, sorry," he said, "about my… outburst, earlier."_

"Sure, anything for a lovely lady-"

"Hey!" Carth shouted. "You talk to her with a bit of respect in your voice or you'll end this conversation minus a few teeth!"

_Elizabeth laughed. "No problem, really, I was getting tired of his, __erm__, comments."_

_Carth looked relieved. He brushed some sand off of his shoulder as he walked – they were traveling, carefully, over the endless rolls of sand, to the Eastern Dune Sea._

_The sand people had their moisture __vaporator__ and there hadn't been any more ambushes, recently. That made traveling a lot easier, but it wasn't pleasurable, not by far.__ They'd been running between the Sand Peoples' enclave and __Anchorhead__ and the sand crawler so many times Elizabeth felt as though she was wearing an inch-thick layer of sand._

_They traveled on in silence for a while- Juhani kept pausing to brush herself off easily stuck in her fur as the sand was, and the lonely __wooshes__ the wind made were the only thing that could be __heard.The__ blue horizon wavered before their eyes in the heat._

_After half an hour of walking, they rested by the remnants of a speeder. Elizabeth leaned on a panel of metal sticking up out of the stand. She lifted a canteen to her parched lips, drinking without stopping for breath for a full 10 seconds .She combed her hand through her bangs, then glanced at Carth – he'd been watching her, and he looked away when she looked. She glanced at Juhani, who was resting a few feet away, paying no attention._

_Elizabeth tapped Carth's shoulder. "Is something wrong?" she asked._

_"What?" He blinked, startled, __then__ shook it off. "I, uh, I was just…"_

_"You were watching me. You have been a lot, lately," she said, smiling._

_"Oh… __Er__, you weren't supposed to notice that. Was I that obvious?"_

_"Well, yeah. If you were any more obvious your eyes would have fallen out of your head."_

_He coughed nervously and rubbed his leg. "I… Was just… __Noticing things."_

_"What things?"_

_"Just… __Things."_

_"Oh, come on, __Onasi__. Don't be a baby."_

_"Alright!__ It's not that big of a deal. I've just… __Been admiring your skills.__ You have this… Natural grace, an ease of use with… Pretty much everything you go at. And you have… A lot of strength…" He trailed off, his voice getting quieter with each word. She vaguely made out the word "beautiful" somewhere in there._

_Her smile widened. "You think I'm beautiful?"_

_Carth straightened suddenly, dusting off his legs. "We should get going. __Star Map to find."_

_"But wait, Carth-"_

_"No time to lose. __C'mon, Juhani."_

_"I am coming!"_

_"Carth!!"_

**,.-::-.,.-::-.,.-::-.,.-::-.,.-::-.,**

He jolted awake and looked frantically around his room – just darkness. He'd gotten that awful feeling again, prickling unease, a _need_ to find out where she was.

Carth jumped out of his bed and barely got his pants on before rushing out the door. He headed straight for her room, starting at a brisk walk, and he fell into a sprint before he got there. He had to make sure she was there, that she was safe.

He jabbed in the code that unlocked the door and stumbled into the dark room – everything was silent, horribly silent, a complete lack of noise that mocked and jeered…

She wasn't on her bed, he saw that much. He barged into the 'fresher, and no, she wasn't there, either. Carth began to panic.

_Where the hell is she?! Did she escape!? She couldn't have… Where's she gone?_

He heard a sound in the other room and looked out. Maybe she was back.

But no, whoever was there was far too small, even for her-

"H-hello?"

Carth sighed, partly of relief, partly of disappointment. "Nia'la," he said. "What are you doing here?"

"O-oh, Carth, it's you. I was just, err, I came to talk to 'er…"

"Well, she's gone, and I'm going to find her. Who knows what she'll do if-"

"Carth?"

"Huh- what is it?"

"I let her out," she squeaked.

"WHAT?!" Carth shouted. He took a few steps forward, Nia'la a few back. "Why the hell would you _do_ that?! Do you have any idea how dangerous she is!? You've just put all our lives in jeopardy!"

"Well, I… The council, they would only let her out eventually, anyway, to kill Malak, since she seems to be the only one what can, so I thought if…"

"What, if you let her storm off to destroy him she'll come without a word back to us and everything'll turn out great? She could have killed off half the enclave by now!"

"But she hasn't – I saw her leave."

"You saw her lea- where'd she go!?"

"To kill Malak, duh. Where else would she go?"

"Oh, trust me, there are plenty of places she could have gone." He stood there seething for a moment, less at Nia'la than in frustration, then forced himself to calm down. "I have to go after her. Did she take the _Hawk_?"

"No, but-"

"I'll be back. Hopefully." With that, he ran out of Revan's empty room, Nia'la standing there, annoyed at having been interrupted. If he got to Revan before she got to Malak, Nia'la didn't think she'd be very happy with her. She sighed and thought how it would turn out, that she wouldn't interfere… She closed her eyes walked back to her own room.

**,.-::-.,.-::-.,.-::-.,.-::-.,.-::-.,**

_Elizabeth loved the cockpit. She loved the chairs, and that they spun, and she could always feel the indent in the seat from the person that had been there before, like the past had made an imprint. She loved the glittering lights from the galaxy map and the various switches and buttons. She loved the calming, pall__i__d tone of the walls, __and the feel of being up front and knowing where you were going. Plus, it was Carth's realm. He really knew his way about this place, and it was where he spent a large part of his time._

_He was there, now, fiddling with a datapad, leaned back, __relaxed__ in his chair. Elizabeth snuck up behind him, praying he didn't turn around, and he didn't. She reached over and gently, playfully flicked him on the neck._

_"Hey!" He raised a hand to his neck, got up, and spun around. She just stood there giggling at him._

_"Gotcha," she said quietly. He shook his head in disbelief, a smile crawling over his face._

_"So what'd I do to deserve that?" he asked._

_"Nothing, you were just getting broody again."_

_"Broody? What do you mean by that?!"_

_"Exactly what I said.__ You go off by yourself and mope and I can feel the angst waves a parsec away."_

_"I- I wasn't moping…"_

_Elizabeth perked up. "Oh, I know!" she smiled slyly at him. "I see, now."_

_"See what?"_

_"__Nooothing__."_

_"Oh, come on, Elizabeth."_

_"_You_ have feelings for _Bastila,_ don't __you!__"_

_"What!?__No, of course not!"_

_"Oh, yes, you do! I've seen the way you look at her."_

_"No way.__ You'd have to be crazy to-"_

_"So someone would be crazy to like Bastila? I'll have to tell her that."_

_Carth gaped at her for a __moment,__ then burst out laughing. "Oh, no you won't. I'll have a blaster to your head before than – I don't think I can stand another preaching."_

_"You know I could beat you easy," she teased. __"Cheater.__ I bet you haven't used a vibroblade in a year."_

_He laughed again. "You'd be about right, there, beautiful. I wouldn't hurt you, anyway."_

**,.-::-.,.-::-.,.-::-.,.-::-.,.-::-.,**

Revan leaned back in the pilot's chair and sighed. The Czerka ship was coasting through hyperspace towards the Star Forge, and it would take a few hours to get there. She started out the front of the ship for a while, quiet, disturbingly clear-minded.

She knew why she hadn't been able to eliminate Malak on the Forge – she wasn't focused. She was just angry, and she'd let it blind her. But now she knew, and she could channel her anger instead of succumb to it…

Revan got up and wandered into the main hold, looking idly from the unfamiliar navicomputer, to the storage compartment that lacked a Cathar, to the hollow, echoing chambers she didn't know, and they were so much longer than they needed to be. This ship was made for more people. It was only a little larger than the Hawk, but it didn't seem that way.

Carth sprinted all the way to the _Hawk_ and nearly threw himself in the pilot's chair. He'd been rather relieved that she didn't take it, but he didn't know what code the ship she'd taken went by, so he couldn't track her. He'd figured in, though, the urgency she'd seemed to feel about killing Malak, an obsession, almost, as well as what Nia'la had said. He decided to head for the Forge.

As the stars stretched out and the _Hawk_ slipped into hyperspace, Carth couldn't think of anything but her. She'd refused to tell him, or anyone, but something was very wrong with her. He didn't know what yet, but not a whole lot made her scream. If it could happen once, it could happen again, and he intended to be there if it did.

And then, there was the part of him saying she would come back and take them all prisoner, or just destroy everything. She knew where the remaining Jedi masters were, and with the Forge under her control, she could wipe them out with a flick of her finger. Carth didn't like not knowing things, and he hadn't the slightest idea what she was doing, or what she would do. Of course, he never really had.

* * *

Author Comments: Yay for more flashbacks! They're so super special awesome! ...Not really, they kind of suck, and they're just for filler. Go me. I need to be smacked, by the way, for getting a Deviant Art account. PLEASE SMACK ME. ... Or fish-slam me. -snicker- 


	14. Never Let You Fall

Revan didn't know what had come over her. Wheras before she was so clear-minded, now she felt as though something ugly had clawed its way out of her chest and was not dragging her through the Forge on a leash. She was almost delirious, and though she hadn't half an idea where she was going, her feet, and the tug on her chest, did.

He was in the room with the Jedi, and all the windows, past the command center. She could sense that. He knew she was coming, and she didn't really care.

The wall panels slid past her hazy sight one-by-one. She had a brief wave of nausea, and clutched her stomach as she tried to fight it off. She leaned against a wall, her chest heaving, broken into a cold sweat.

The one thing she could be grateful for, she thought distantly as she resumed her zombie-like path to Malak, was that the Dark Jedi – rather few as they were - accepted her presence. Sure, she was one of them, and on a normal day she could wipe all of them out with a few strokes… But they didn't know of her condition, and she intended to keep it that way. She didn't have any desire but for _him,_ and _his _death.

She stumbled into the chamber Malak was waiting for her in. She briefly regained her senses, straightened dignifiedly, scowled at him.

"I knew you would come back, Revan," he said, his back to her. "You have a habit of following me." He took his time to turn around and face her.

"And you one of running," Revan replied. She was shuddering. Malak mistook it for fear.

"It's a pity it must be this way. You would have made a fine apprentice. Are you finally ready to die?" He drew his lightsaber.

She could hear him breathing from there. She could hear the hum from the machines that hung the Jedi from Dantooine between life and a death to join with the Force, that they may serve a dark purpose. She heard her own heart beating, slowly… And to her own surprise, the buzz of a lit lightsaber. _Her_ lit lightsaber.

Malak lit his in response. "So, finally, there will be an end to this," he said quietly.

"Yes…" she whispered, then the demon inside her took over, and her feet propelled her forward in a Force jump. Malak dodged and slashed in an arc where she was going to land, but she held out a hand to the floor and bounded off to a safe distance. She thrusted at Malak as he came near.

Despite the times she'd fought him, far too many for any foe, this was not the same battle. She felt what was driving her, but did not know what it was. She felt the Force rushing back into her and flooding through her veins, quenching her two-week's thirst. It played along her skin in the form of tiny sparks, but it felt as an animal – it loved her now, but it still had teeth. And she felt two more things she barely recognized at this point – hope, and regret, but not what for.

Malak flourished his saber again, and Revan screamed – white hot pain crawled up her right arm, but he'd only brushed her. Her skin was blackened, burned, but he had not harmed the muscle. She quickly rebounded and took to alternate strokes at his sides, which he could only do his best to counter, until her grip slipped on one of her sabers, and she was too out of it to retrieve it. It skidded away from her across the floor.

Revan grimaced as pain shot down her neck from her head. Her clammy hands clutched her remaining saber all the harder, turning her knuckles white, and she lunged at him again. She successfully cut a gash into his shoulder, but her feeling of triumph was brief.

Malak waved his free hand and Force drained the nearest hanging Jedi. Revan's eyes widened with unexpected horror – the Jedi's skin shriveled, curled with the energies crawling over it, became a sickeningly pale color. His eyes became blank, the black of the pupil spreading slowly like a plague. And finally, in fetal position, there was the total lack of life there, an utterly empty _echo _where something used to be. And she watched as Malak's skin made little, webbed links, as his shoulder bit-by-bit repaired itself, as though she had never hit him. Only then did she recognize the Jedi he had drained as Master Zhar Lestin.

Malak threw himself at her, and she did her best to counter his hit, but she lost her breath, knowing she'd only ever last to kill him if the Jedi here all left the horrid stasis they were in. She bit her lip and pushed forward, elbowing Malak in the stomach, and stumbled back while he fell over.

Revan lifted her hand, unsteadily, her whole body shaking, and a bright white Force lightning shot from her fingertips, hitting first one of the Jedi, then leaping the short distance from machine to machine. It was a much more peaceful way to die for them. Instead of a cluster of echoes and hollow screams, there was a unified sigh, almost a whisper of thanks, as each remaining Jedi escaped, slipped from the prison of their own bodies.

Revan gradually lowered her hand, her knees wobbling, her breath coming in shallow gasps. The rocking, pounding ache in her head was racing up and down her spine and she could feel the acids bubbling up to her esophagus.

Malak howled with rage as he finally recovered, realizing what she had done, thinking, maybe he's not so clever after all, and if she knew that, it only served to make him angrier. He swung his 'saber at her and it slipped away as her limp arm attempted a block. She got up straighter, feebly, her eyes clouded over and her mouth slightly agape.

Malak shook with rage, she with a sick weakness, and he lunged again and again, but somehow she found the will to doge, to counter, and she watched, almost with pity, as he made a false step, missed a strike. She grimaced as her saber came up underneath him, as the weight from his fall quickly disappeared, his headed divided then from the rest of him.

The blood sizzled quietly, releasing a foul stench into the air, but she was thankful for the instantaneous cauterization abilities the lightsaber had.

Carth ran like a madman through the Forge, though the many empty corridors for having a station so big. His boots rang louder on the floor than a shout would, but he didn't care.

She was here. He felt it. He didn't know how, and he didn't care to find out, but he knew she was here, and he knew she was in danger. He'd known that for a long time. He'd ignored it, because he wanted to believe it wasn't true – little observations clicked into place inside his head as he sprinted down the long halls that only ever seemed to get longer.

He'd found her unconscious that day on Kashyyyk, after he heard her scream. He'd felt for so long the nagging idea that she was in pain, all the time, or pain so terrible soon to come that it stretched out and thumped at the back of his mind with a dull but increasing urgency.

He'd never wanted anything more than he wanted to find her, in those moments. He'd never felt so much that if he failed this one thing he could never stand to look at himself again, even to go on for Dustil or Mission or Telos or anything else.

Revan heard boots clacking on the floor behind her, but they were light. She turned around, and it was Bastila there, pale, yellow-eyed, her face distorted with fury.

"_You_…" she hissed, then her voice rose to a screech. "You _killed_ him! You, you… Schutta, you will _die _for this!"

"Wait," Revan mumbled, furrowed her brow. Her body was moving out of accordance with her will, again. Bastila wouldn't have heard her, anyway.

They went at each other, Bastila in a pure rage, Revan in a hazy, lurching dance, and their battle did not last very long. Bastila could never face up to her with the lightsaber, and had placed far too much faith in her own abilities. There was a small thump as she hit the floor.

Then Revan was standing there, on an empty floor, raised above where she'd fought them, overlooking the star, the rest of the galaxy, glittering welcomingly in her fuzzy vision. She vaguely remembered walking up here. She vaguely felt her hand reach out, her fingers touch the plastiglass window, the only thing keeping her from the endless, the eternal space. It was cold.

She remembered what happened next a little more clearly, possibly from the head-splitting pain. She bent over, as gently as a curtsy, and heaved her stomach acid onto the floor. She couldn't feel the hunger, or the hurt from where Malak had singed her, or even the nausea. Only the feeling of a clawed, angry creature fighting its way out of her through her head and back, and the quiet acknowledgment that she had done exactly what she'd set out to do. She'd killed Malak. She had done what for so long she had fought to do, what she'd lost so much for. It was done.

She felt the air parting around her back, that she was falling, and she felt herself being caught, saw a blur of orange, and of chestnut colored eyes. She smiled at nothing, then for the fading pain as her consciousness drifted away.

**,.-::-.,.-::-.,.-::-.,.-::-.,.-::-.,**

A pleasant serenity had overcome Carth. She'd fallen, and she was hurt, but she was there in his arms, and somehow that made everything okay. He was even proud of her. She'd killed Malak. He'd never imagined it would be this easy to catch up with her.

He turned the final curve of the corridors up the ramp to the hangar. Her arms were limp beside her, her head hanging back, and though Carth knew better, it appeared she was only sleeping. One of few peaceful sleeps she'd seemed to have since he'd first met her. No more visions. No more sacrifice.

He laid her down with the utmost care upon the medbay bed in the _Hawk_, then walked over to the central chamber. He punched in the comm. code for Admiral Dodonna's ship, then stood back as the signal went through.

It took a few moments, but the holo form of his admiral flickered into existence before him, casting a hazy bluish glow upon the room. "Carth Onasi!" she said. "It's great to see you alive."

"You as well, Admiral." He saluted briefly. "I've got some good news."

"What is it?"

"Malak's dead. You should probably send a fleet over to hit the Forge now-"

"Are you sure, Carth? This is _big_ news."

"Positive, Admiral. I saw him dead… Elizabeth killed him."

Dodonna nodded solemnly, but she had a grin on her face. "Excellent. I'll send a fleet, then." She paused, then winked at him. "There might be a promotion in line for this."

"A – a promotion?"

"We'll see, once this is over. Great job, Carth. Admiral Dodonna out." Her image blinked away.

Carth wandered into the cockpit and flew them away from the Forge again, set them in hyperspace, then returned to the medbay.

He felt rather stupid for how little he knew about medical matters, as this was the, what, sixth time in a month or so that it would have come in handy? He used a medpack on her, then sat on the floor, leaning back on the wall.

Carth figured he could ask her what was going on, once she woke up… _If she wakes up…_ but he brushed that thought away. Of course she'd wake up. She had survived worse than… whatever it was, he was sure. She was a very strong woman.

He jumped up – she had moved her shoulder, grumbled something. Carth bent over her and gazed worriedly at her.

He took in a sharp breath as her eyes blinked open, but she didn't seem to be angry. She even smiled at him. And what she said next startled him even more.

"You're…" she whispered, closed her eyes. "You're like my… guardian angel." Then she went still again.

Carth straightened, and he found he bore no ill will towards her in the least bit, not even that he had before he'd departed Kashyyyk, and it didn't take him long to figure out why.

It was Revan that had fallen on the Forge, when he had caught her.

It was Elizabeth that lay before him now.

* * *

Author Comments: I was wrong about the 19-chapter thing, there are only 16! So that means there are only two more after this! No more long, long, looong typing sessions! Except for the extended epilogue... Oh well. Once I finish posting up this story, I have a songfic ready and waiting. Enjoy your chapter. I rather like this one. 


	15. Not So Clear

_Elizabeth…_

_Elizabeth…_

"Elizabeth!"

"Nia'la, don't shake her!"

"S-she's not… Oh! There, she's woken up!"

"What?" Elizabeth muttered. She blinked once, twice, her fuzzy vision came back into focus. "Where am I?"

"Kashyyyk," Nia'la readily answered. "You're back!" To this, Elizabeth groaned quietly.

Vrook was standing behind Nia'la, arms folded over his chest, looking cross. _Of course, he looks cross 90 of the time,_ Elizabeth thought. _Hair grayed quicker on him than anyone else I've seen. _He had an amusingly round face, but that was offset by the stern, harsh wrinkles and severe, commanding gaze. "Did you enjoy your little excursion?" he asked, annoyance dripping from his tone.

Elizabeth looked around. She was back in her Force restraint room. Nothing had changed. She was in clean Jedi robes, and about the only thing she noticed that was different was the lack of a headache or nausea, and a completely clear head. She felt a lot better than she'd felt in a while.

A few things clicked into place in her head, and she frowned – meanwhile Vrook and Nia'la were watching her, Vrook cautiously, Nia'la curiously, both probably wondering just what she would do. Elizabeth finally spoke. "Why haven't you killed me yet?" she asked coolly. "This is the third time I've been trouble. Really, after so many times I'd think you could throw a little rule away."

"We don't kill people," Vrook replied firmly, in way that implied her exactly contrary behavior. "There is always another option."

"Is being a Dark Lord not reasonable cause?"

"Stop it, Lizzy-" Nia'la began.

"No, I-" Elizabeth paused, and what Nia'la called her finally registered. "Hold up. You called me Lizzy."

"Yeah. It's your name. Mission told me-"

"My name is Revan. Elizabeth is a fake identity."

"Not from what I can tell."

"What do you mean by-"

Elizabeth was interrupted by Vrook's impatient sigh. "You will _wait_ this time. Vandar and I have… much to talk about. Your dear Nia'la doesn't know the new code to the door."

Elizabeth thought for a moment, touched on her lack of a purpose, and put it aside to ponder later. "I, uh, I suppose I'm good for now, anyway."

"Not _for now._ You will stay here."

"Alright, alright! I don't have any reason to leave, now. Ease up a little. Jeese."

Vrook waved a hand at her to dismiss her comment and strode out the door, an irritated air following him like a separate entity. He called for Nia'la, who started, then quickly followed.

Elizabeth sat up as they left and waited for a few moments more, just to feel freer of Vrook's hard presence, then noted in her head that it was definitely Carth that had gone after her at the Forge. She didn't remember anyone else having been there, as far as she could see… Which was really just a blur of orange, and who else wore a hideous orange flight jacket?

She knew she'd fallen, passed out, because of the headaches, or whatever was causing them. When they were on what she assumed was the _Ebon Hawk_ (for if the _Hawk_ was available he likely wouldn't use another ship), she'd called him her guardian angel.

How stupid.

She thought of the angels – the ghostly forms, swimming around in space, rumored to guide lost ships, mostly nearer to the unknown regions. Why had she called him that?

_Well, I wasn't… I wasn't _all there _when I said it. _Not knowing exactly what possessed her to say such a thing annoyed her a little, especially since she kind of felt like her liking of Carth had dimmed…

Elizabeth jumped as the door hissed open, and Vrook came in again, accompanied by Master Vandar. They both stood an even 5 feet from Elizabeth, with steely, grim expressions, as though she were a rabid animal.

"Revan, I do not know how to say this," Vandar began. "We've consulted the archives, as well as a few contacts we have… We are not sure if now is the best time to tell you, but you deserve to know."

Vrook glanced over at Vandar, but said nothing. Elizabeth saw impatience in his expression. Nothing new there.

Vandar continued, appearing not to notice Vrook's glare. He continued in his slow, drawling voice- "There were few-to-no records on it, but we've pieced most things together, and…"

Vrook finally caved. "You're dying," he said simply. Vandar gave him a cautionary glance.

"I'm _what?!_" Elizabeth cried.

"You've got a disease, and you're dying."

"You sure don't mince words, do you?" she said, grimacing.

"Master Vandar can answer your questions, as I'm sure you have many. I have other matters to attend to."

"No, you don't…" Elizabeth muttered, and glared daggers at his back as he left and the door hissed shut behind him. Then she turned to Vandar. "So, what's this about I'm dying?" she said after a minute. "What's wrong with me?"

"Well, as Master Vrook has said, you've acquired a disease…"

"I got that. What kind of… disease?"

"A Force disease. It's only happened, as far as we know, twice before, in all of the archives." As Vandar spoke, Elizabeth leaned back against the cold wall and ran her fingers through her unruly hair. "It's a rather slow process, but speeds up the nearer one gets to what the Force has planned…"

"That's why I got more headaches, then, and nausea?"

"Yes, although that's only the effect it had on you… It would be different for different species, and the like." Elizabeth wasn't sure she understood that part, but she let it pass.

"What was it the Force had planned for me?"

"Destroying Malak. And then you."

_Interesting._ "How do you know that?"

"It's what happened, is it not? Or, rather, almost happened."

"Then…" Elizabeth parted her lips a little, ran her tongue over them, even though they weren't dry. "Then why am I not dead?"

"Vrook and I… Healed you, in a small way. We can't cure it, but we've put it off-"

"Anything not to fight it, huh. Force against Force." She sighed and rubbed her shoulder absently. "Will it get worse again?"

She watched Vandar fidget, though his hands were clasped formally in front of him the entire time. "The pain will not again come. You will die, though, earlier than you would otherwise."

She was dying.

Because surely they wouldn't lie about such a thing, and it would explain the headaches and nausea. She didn't know how long she had, and was only a little comforted knowing the pain wouldn't come back. Maybe she would have preferred dying then instead of living a little longer without knowing if she would just drop in the middle of something ridiculous like a morning cup of caffa, and people would think it was the caffa that killed her. Better a little dignified on the floor of the Forge than face down in your drink.

"Frack…" she muttered. _Let's hope I originally had a very, very long life. _"Why me?" she asked. "Why is this happening to me?"

"The Force wants balance, and Malak had tipped the scale somehow. If you went on too after he was gone, it would only have turned out worse. Have you not noticed how much of the Force you can control? It is as holding the reins too close. You will fall off of the steed that way."

Why did that man have to have been there? Why did he have to catch her? She couldn't have felt fear at that point, anyway. Every way she could consider it, she wished she could have died then, or to have Vrook and Vandar kill her. She knew she deserved it.

But then she considered if she really did, now. Maybe the line between "good" and "evil" wasn't ever half as clear as everyone made it out to be. You could easily have emotions without becoming "evil"… Non-Jedi did every day, but it was beaten out of the Jedi like it would be the death of the Force. It didn't and never had made any sense to her. They were always expected to have compassion and mercy, and how could that be achieved without knowing what compassion was and what it felt like?

"Won't it just keep trying to kill me, then?" she asked. "Its carefully laid plans have sort of failed."

"I don't know everything, Elizabeth-"

"I'm not Elizabeth."

"I don't know everything. There is much you must figure out for yourself." He set his big-eyed, humbling gaze on her, and she squirmed under it like under a spotlight.

She knew it was just a ploy though. He didn't like being near her any more than Vrook did. "Fine."

Vandar left quietly, shuffling his feet, as she noticed he did. She put off thinking of anything just so she could deny the things that had been said, so she could defy his wishes so pointedly. The thoughts, though, kept rising to the top of her mind and hanging there like a bitter scent.

_Surely, someone who murders innocents is evil, and who gives to the innocent and poor, selflessly, __is__ good_… she thought. And so few believed there could be a happy medium. Elizabeth remembered Jolee, and regretted, and thumped her head back on the wall behind her. Hot tears budded in her eyes, but she blinked them away, determined not to let her train of thoughts stray.

The Republic was… For the good of the people. But there were factions, and people under it, and even high in the ranks, that had no intention whatsoever of helping others. White on the surface, black underneath, or grey, truly… There wasn't a line between good and evil, there was a vast grey expanse, and perhaps there wasn't ever good and evil at all, just the grey that everyone seemed to be stuck in. For surely, one side of a war would declare the other evil, and likewise.

Then Elizabeth turned her thoughts on herself. Maybe she wasn't as unkind as she used to be. Maybe she deserved to live. She'd turned and killed Juhani and Jolee- she winced as she thought this… It had been like a bottle of soda shaken up. She had anger within her, all the time, and pent-up memories, and the anger that went with those… and everything happening to her had just prodded at it until the cap popped off and the built-up metaphorical fizz sprayed out. But it dwindled down, and the bubbles stopped coming.

She just wasn't angry anymore. In fact, somehow everything seemed so pallid, so quiet and calm. Even the sounds of Kashyyyk's forest were dulled.

And finally, she thought of who she was. Perhaps Elizabeth Salo was a fake identity, perhaps Revan had been horrible, and perhaps she was still a part of her, but while she was who she was and could accept everything she had been, it was how she acted presently that defined her, not what she had been before. Names were just extra baggage.

She could be Revan if she wanted to… But she didn't really want to, now she thought of it. She wanted to be Elizabeth Salo, and she didn't have any idea why. She seemed not to understand very much recently.

There were her friends… If she could still deem to call them friends… If they could forgive her, again, for Juhani, and Jolee, and… Bastila. Bastila! She'd killed her, too, and hardly remembered it. She'd been her friend, too, and little less than a martyr for their cause, before she'd turned, as well … She'd fought her, first, and not killed her, but did anyway, later, when she couldn't have much of an idea _what_ she was doing. Bastila was dead. Gone.

And if Elizabeth was on Kashyyyk again, what had happened to the Forge?

Sudden curiosity gripped her. She ran up to the door and pounded clenched fists on it. "Hey!" Elizabeth yelled out at it, hoping someone was passing. "Hey, anyone!" The door didn't open, and she left off after 20 seconds of calling like an upset child. She felt rather dumb as she flopped back onto her bed.

If the council let her free, what would she do? What _could_ she do with the rest of her life, since the Force threw her away like a toy it had grown tired of? She knew she could still use the Force, somehow. She knew she would feel different if it had left her. But what to do, now that her pointed purpose in life was done with?

Elizabeth jumped up again, startled by the door hissing open, and Nia'la stepped in. Vrook, scowling, was behind her, but he remained behind the door as it closed.

"Hey," Nia'la said. "I heard you yellin'. Vrook just barely allowed me in."

"I'm glad he did." Elizabeth was quiet for a moment. Nia'la looked around, not in a nervous manner, but that of not knowing what to say and not really caring. "Hey," Elizabeth said, recalling - "What did you mean when you said that from what you could tell, I'm not Revan?"

Nia'la kicked at the floor, her foot weedling up one of the many reeds of whicker that made it up. "Well, I dunno. You just don't act like I'd expect a Darth anyone to act."

"I don't?"

"Nope!" she smiled brightly. "You just act like a person. Not the best Jedi, really, but I'm not either."

"I don't think I'm much worse of a Jedi than Vrook is," Elizabeth grumbled. "But maybe we're not cut out for being Jedi."

Nia'la wrinkled her nose. "Maybe if they made some changes. They're too uptight."

"Did you get in trouble? You know, for letting me out?"

"Not as much as I would be in if your friends didn't defend me. And if we hadn't got you back." She paused. "Hey… Is that old guy always so quiet?"

"Old guy? What old guy?"

"Err, his name starts with 'Can'…"

"Canderous? Quiet? Him and quiet don't belong in a sentence together. He couldn't' be quiet if he tried."

"He is, though. I don't even know he's around unless I'm lookin' for him."

"That's… That's weird." Elizabeth knew exactly why he was quiet. She knew far too well. The thought made her face hot.

"Huh, well, even he said a good word for me. He looks a bit gruff, so I was surprised." Elizabeth smiled at Nia'la's naïveté. She hadn't even noticed her blush. "So, I'm still training, but I got a hell of a lecture."

"That's good, I suppose… No one happened to mention what happened to the Star Forge, did they?"

"I, er, overheard Vrook and Vandar talkin' about it…"

"So what happened?"

"Carth'd called the Republic fleets out after he left the Forge with you. Without Malak or that Bastila woman's battle meditation, they shot down its gravitational stabilizers easy. It fell into the star it was over."

"Good riddance." Pause. "How long do you think they'll keep me in here?"

"How should I know? They don't tell me nothin' here." Nia'la snorted, and Elizabeth laughed at the face she made. They heard an annoyed call from outside the room, and Nia'la groaned loudly. "Guess I gotta go."

Elizabeth nodded shortly. "Guess you do…" Pause. "Hey, do you blame me? For what's happened?"

Nia'la seemed to think about it for a few moments, then she shook her head. "Nah. I think even as Revan you'd had good intentions. There's sense in what you'd done before you got your memory wiped."

"What did I do?"

"_Nia'la!"_ Vrook called again.

Nia'la hopped forward and threw her arms around Elizabeth's shoulders, and, though startled at first, she returned the embrace with a heartwarmed smile. "Goodbye, Nia'la."

"Bye!"

Elizabeth smiled after her young companion, and couldn't help but feel her innocence, and her childlike happiness had some part in calming her, in making her see reason. She owed her a lot for that, and hoped that one day she could pay her back.

And although their parting was happy, Elizabeth could not help but feel an uncomfortable finality about it.

* * *

Author Comments: I'm stupid. It's 17 chapters, not 16 that I have, but I guess I'll just have to deal with it. && I have the idea for another songfic and I've already mapped it out. More CarthxRevan, yes. Enjoy the chapter, sorry about the long thought train bits. 


	16. Acceptance

Trunks of trees shot up from the far-below ground of the Shadowlands, that couldn't be fit around with 10 wookies' outstretched arms. Their boughs reached far over the level at which the enclave sat, in an almost triangular shape between three of the great trees.

The Jedi had done their best to adapt to the environment - their walls and floors were mostly whicker, the main part of the enclave open-roofed and curved in at the top. They had permacrete containers with plants native to Dantooine, that seemed to shrink in their beds, as if afraid of the grossly proportioned wildlife of Kashyyyk.

Vrook and Vandar were sitting cross-legged across from each other in an inner room of the enclave, plated with durasteel. Their older, dulled knowing of the Force emanated a comfortable atmosphere, though their topic of conversation was doubtable.

"How do we know that she's really changed?" Vrook murmured gruffly. "Should we cut her off from the Force to be sure?"

"No. I sense she had a greater purpose, beyond what we may approach," Vandar replied coolly. "Though we can not be sure, we must take the chance.

"What could have done it?" Vrook asked. "She killed two of her companions, then Malak, and probably Bastila, too. Then she'd back, and... I'd have expected her at least to struggle."

"Perhaps Nia'la had some part in it. A child's innocence... Can often hold much sway over one's perspectives."

"Perhaps. But were Elizabeth truly part of the Dark Side, she probably would have tried to kill whoever came into her room, or at least attempt to escape before she did. There was no sign of trying."

"Then perhaps her intentions never truly were dark. Even before we took her memories."

Vrook only nodded a little, then closed his eyes and resumed meditation.

**,.-::-.,.-::-.,.-::-.,.-::-.,.-::-., **

It was night, as the crew of the Ebon Hawk huddled around a fire. It was in the center of a circular clearing, offset from the main walkway. Dirt and rocks had been laid down to prevent the fire from spreading. It cast an orangey glow and a warm complexion on everyone's faces. Most were wondering just how it was Mission had convinced them to come out just for an old-fashioned campfire, especially since they weren't camping, and especially since it was late and callously cold. HK was the only one not present. No one missed him.

Mission scooted in closer to the flames and hummed happily. "Griff taught me to make one, in case I got trapped somewhere they didn't have electricity," she murmured. "He… He may be a cheap jerk, but he wasn't all that bad to me."

T3 was the only one that paid any attention to her. He booped and whirred sympathetically, and nudged her leg. She looked down and smiled at him.

"Thanks, little guy." She patted his head and it made a hollow, metallic sound.

Canderous was farthest from the fire, leaned against the beams that were the only thing keeping one from falling off the edge, down two hundred feet to the Shadowlands. He _was _rather distance, much quieter, and he hadn't even made any sarcastic comments in the past few days. It was almost creeping everyone out, especially Carth, familiar as he was with the Mandalorian's angry comments. _He _wouldn't be the first to ask what was wrong, that was for sure.

Zaalbar sighed (as much as a wookie could sigh, anyway) and scratched absently at his arm. /It truly does feel good to be home,/ he said. /I think I should like to stay here… If Elizabeth would allow…/

"I would."

The new voice startled everyone – even T3 jerked around and beeped. Elizabeth was there, in her blue Jedi robes and a long cloak, the firelight making her blue eyes glitter and dance. She went up closer to the fire, terribly conscious of every eye on her, of the utter silence, and sat down, pulling her legs to her chest.

"You can stay here, Zaalbar, if you want," she said quietly. Her eyes were trained on the fire, avidly avoiding the startled expressions of her crew.

There was an awkward silence, for a while. Mission was the one to break it. "Lizzy, I've… Missed you."

Elizabeth settled her shin on her knees and gave Mission a weak smile. "I'm not that scary, am I?" she asked.

"What do you mean by that?"

"The council let you out? They didn't expel you?" Canderous interjected.

"Surprisingly, no," Elizabeth replied readily. She looked around now and watch as the surprise faded off everyone's faces. T3 rolled over and bumped amiably into her side. She laughed and stretched her legs out. "Yes, T3, I'm back."

/Thank you, Elizabeth,/ Zaalbar finally said. /You have done much for me. I doubt I'll ever be able to repay you./

"There isn't any need to," she said firmly, then turned to face the fire again. Carth had yet to say anything. He was only watching her, _his _expression unreadable. Canderous was the only one who had even vaguely mentioned what she had done, or if she was about to kill them, anything of the like – it seemed like something that would be brought up immediately, but the whole group was completely silent. Elizabeth felt more awkward than when she told everyone that she was Revan. She was surer of herself, then. Now her thoughts and feelings were all just jumbled around, waiting impatiently to be dealt with.

Since Canderous was apparently the only one mildly comfortable with all that had happened, she turned to him and spoke loudly, hoping her crew, her friends, would believe her. "I don't have to be her, anymore, you know," she said, and felt rather stupid for it – she sounded like a 10-year-old trying to avoid saying "sorry".

Canderous stared blankly at her. "Yeah, I know. You never had to."

"I… Well, I thought I did."

"I know."

Elizabeth sighed in frustration. The conversation was getting nowhere, and she didn't want to look to see if everyone else was listening. "I'm not going to kill any of you," she said. "I won't go berserk or anything. Someone just talk!"

No one did.

"I'm sorry, okay!?" she finally cried out. "I was a… A stupid nerf herder, and I did things I shouldn't have, and I'm _sorry_." She spun and faced Carth, sitting upon her knees. "You were right. Dead right. 'Reclaim your title and take revenge on your mutinous apprentice', right? Great guess, you got me. What else am I supposed to say?! 'Sorry' can't bring back the dead, 'sorry' can't turn back time. I'm saying it anyway." She waved her hands up angrily, dramatically, as if giving up on them. She still desperately wanted their forgiveness.

Carth held up a hand and grimaced awkwardly. "Calm down, Elizabeth…"

"Don't tell _me_ to calm down, you hairless wookie!"

Zaalbar released a mildly offended grunt.

The edges of Carth's mouth turned up. "Your face is red," he said tightly, as though trying to suppress a laugh.

Elizabeth's jaw dropped. "You… You…" she spluttered, totally at a loss for words. "Why is everyone calling me Elizabeth now, anyway?!" she cried, throwing up her hands again.

Mission giggled. "'Cus it's your name, _duh._"

"It's not…" Elizabeth blinked, looked around, her mouth still open a little. They were, except for Canderous (and T3 of course), smiling… They had forgiven her. It didn't make any sense – how could anyone be so… Understanding? No one just forgets things like that. She knew she sure wouldn't have forgiven herself.

She rocked back on her heels and sat back on her butt, staring with a look of utter confusion at the whicker floor. Mission and Carth exchanged a look, then she, Carth, and Zaalbar began talking about their plans for the future. Zaalbar quietly mentioned becoming chieftain, if his father passed. Carth guessed he would go back to Telos, maybe try to arrange a restoration project. Mission suggested a few things for herself, but generally, she didn't know what she would do with herself now Taris was gone.

They talked quietly over the crackling of the fire for a while, leaving Elizabeth to her thoughts. She eventually joined the conversation (after the subject changed to Cantina encounters). She spoke enthusiastically, but cautiously, like she were tapping on a sheet of glass, though afraid it might break. She was beginning to feel comfortable again, hoping unconsciously that her time with them wouldn't have to end, that she could remain with her friends, that everything could just stay peaceful like this.

The minutes stretched on. Sometime, Canderous got up and left, T3 rolled off, Zaalbar wandered away. Somehow, Elizabeth subtly suggested adopting Mission, and it didn't go over badly at all. Eventually it was just Carth and Elizabeth, going over with dream-like voices the happier moments of their journey.

Between ragged breaths and laughter, Elizabeth recalled when they'd first met on Taris, when she'd launched a pillow at his head. She leaned forward while talking, having laughed so much her sides hurt. Carth found himself sitting next to her, laughing with her, occasionally completing sentences for her.

"You know," he said at one point, rather breathlessly, "the word 'impossible' just doesn't seem to factor in when you're around. Like, no one would imagine _anyone_ could single-handedly overthrow a wookie chieftain and inspire rebellion over an entire planet. _You _did."

Elizabeth shook her head, grinning. "You not without Jolee, or Freyrr, or Zaalbar. It wasn't just me."

"You were 9/10 of it. Just admit it."

"But it's not true!"

Carth opened his mouth to respond, but fell silent when he realized how close their faces were. Elizabeth seemed not to notice, and she blinked in mild confusion.

"What is it?" she asked, all innocence.

Carth didn't know when it had happened, that he had grown to adore this woman so much, that he wanted to deny any wrong she could ever have done. He'd thought for so long that liking her at all had only been for her resemblance to Morgana, or his loneliness from her absence, but he knew that wasn't true. At that point he knew beyond any doubt that she was exactly who he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

Carth watched her intensely, her eyes flickering over his face, even a little concerned about his silence, and he smiled a little. _She's so cute when she's confused. _"I love you," he said quietly, and the only response he gave her time for was widened eyes and faint traces of a blush. He closed the remaining space between their faces.

Elizabeth felt the heat rising in her face, felt her heart thumping like Gamorrean war drums in her chest. Carth slipped his arms around her waist and pulled her gently to him, and though the night air was cold, he was so warm – her skin was on fire, but it was a pleasant feeling. She parted her lips for him, pressed herself to him, as he held her with a surprising _need_, lip sliding over lip, hearts beating beside each other a mile a minute.

Carth didn't think he had felt so happy in the past four years. Elizabeth was beside herself, drowning in an onslaught of pleasurable sensations that traveled up and down her spine over and over again. She placed her hands on his shoulders, somewhere along the line having closed her eyes, struggling to regain control of her thoughts.

Subtly as she could, she leaned forward, pressing herself even closer against him, and he leaned back, gently setting his back on the ground, only breaking the kiss afterwards. Their breaths were both shallow and quick, coming out as little white puffs in the cold air.

"Carth," Elizabeth whispered, pressing her cheek to his, listening to him breathe. Their legs were tangled and Carth's hands were now resting on the small of her back. "Do you… Did you mean it?" A part of her simply needed reassurance. She was so convinced over the time he'd known her, especially after he'd found out she was Revan, that he hated her so much. She had just gotten all the wrong signals, seen all the wrong things. Maybe he had, too.

"Of course I meant it," Carth said quietly, his lips brushing the edge of her ear. "I don't say things I don't mean."

She was quiet for a moment, except more steady breaths, pondering whether she should tell him or not, and decided that since he had… "I love you too, Carth." She moved her head back and looked him steadily in his eyes, hers glistening and her cheeks a little wet – he could see there that she meant it. "I've done really horrible things," she said quietly. "I killed them, Jolee, and Juhani, they were nothing but good to me, and Bastila too… I, I-" she closed her eyes again and fresh tears slid down her face.

Carth bent her head to his gently and kissed the tears away, not minding the salt on his lips. He kissed both cheeks, then eyelids, then forehead.

"Shh," he whispered, trying to soothe her. "I'm sure they would forgive you…"

She shook her head slowly. "They wouldn't, not after what I said to her-" Carth silenced her babbling with another kiss, and again she kissed him back, like she hadn't felt human touch in years. She knew attachment was forbidden, love was forbidden, but she truly didn't care, and she never really had – another reason to add to her list of reasons why she was a really, really terrible Jedi – none of it mattered anymore. She was blissfully happy just being there with him, being accepted by him.

She lost track of time, eventually, as second melded into wonderful second. The night carried on. Blissful reality became contented dream.

* * *

Author Comments: Yer. Fluff scene! Makeout makeout makeout! I actually rather like its. Like the next chapter more though. Enjoy and stuffed stuffles of stuff. 


	17. Goodbye

Author Comments: Additional disclaimer: I own nothing and no one, no Star Wars, no Revan, no Carth, no Hideous Orange Flight Jacket, no lightsaber, no lyrics, and nothing else except Nia'la and ONLY HER. Those belong to Red Jumpsuit Apparatus and George Lucas and whatnot. Enjoy the last part of the 'fic, and the lyrics. The song is excellent, I suggest you get it or something. And this isn't the end, either. There's an "extended epilogue", too.

* * *

She wanted him to wake up holding her, that he could go on holding her forever, but of all things she knew that could never happen. She fought herself in her head, as she tried to wriggle away from him without waking him up or moving him, even though she knew he could sleep through anything. For once, he wasn't snoring. 

She decided some time last night, she couldn't be sure when, exactly, what she was going to do for at least some part of her life, and she couldn't bring him along. She couldn't bring any of her friends. It was far too dangerous for them.

She was leaving for the Outer Rim. She was leaving that day, and she didn't know when she'd be back, if at all. Elizabeth leaned down and kissed Carth gently on the cheek, right next to his mouth, giggled as his stubble tickled her face (she hadn't even noticed it the night before), then quieted herself, putting on a stern expression. She glanced at him – still perfectly well asleep.

Elizabeth grabbed her boots that lay in a pitiful heap on the floor, looked around, and, as an afterthought, grabbed Carth's orange jacket, too. She needed _something _to remember him by. She shrugged it on as she jogged out the door.

Elizabeth next headed to her own room (a new once, not Force-restraining, and rather nicer than the previous) and picked up a few extra Jedi robes. She stopped by a datapad, thought, maybe she should leave a message for Carth.

But shook her head and away the idea. She knew if she tried to put it off, she would probably end up in a sobbing heap on her bed. Then he would find her, and comfort her, and chase away all her fears and all her notions of leaving him. She was always rather sensitive.

She stuffed her things in a bag the Council left her and started off towards the _Ebon Hawk._

Elizabeth knew, obviously, that Malak was not where the "evil" stopped – and that what everyone called the Sith were not truly Sith, only followers of those ideals – there were the true Sith out there, and she wanted to find them.

Even from Kashyyyk, she could feel their presence past the Rim, pulsing, but slowly, like the ebb and flow of a tide. Yes, they were definitely there, and most likely only waiting for the right time to strike the Republic, when it was weakest – it was rather weak, then and that scared her.

It was hardly bearable, and each step farther from them grew worse. What could Elizabeth do to stave off the terrible loneliness? How long could she stand out there before went completely insane?

But this was some sort of act of redemption, perhaps, a calling – maybe the Force just wanted to kill her off, but for doing this was an inescapable urge. She reached the loading ramp and ran up, in, and to the cockpit before she could change her mind.

Out the window was Kashyyyk, every tree and creature now peaceful, still sleeping, for it was hardly dawn at this point. She had done that.

Above was the sky, painted dark blue with small, milky streaks of light coming from the horizon, and to the side, aloof but cheerful, Kashyyyk's moon. There were no space battles going on, no big Sith flagship looming overhead, priming weapons to wipe out an entire planet. She had done that, too.

Though she was a scout, supposedly a wanderer, she felt at home here, by the Mid-Rim planets, with the people (and wookies, and droids, and twi'leks…) whose lives she cared for more than her own.

Elizabeth tightened her grip on the sides of the seat and sighed. She was leaving, maybe forever. Forever sounded like such a long time…

"Goodbye," she whispered. She thought of Carth still sleeping, still thinking he would wake up and see her and love her every day. She thought of Mission, and what she could possibly do with her life, of Canderous, and her regrets, and everything she wouldn't even think of regretting.

She steered the Hawk and all the memories clinging to it away from Kashyyyk and away from everything familiar to her. Out to the stars, past the Outer Rim, to the Unknown Regions, the _Ebon Hawk_ slipped into hyperspace once again.

* * *

Your Guardian Angel by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus 

_ When I see your smile, tears roll down my face, I can't replace..._

_And now that I'm strong, I have figured out  
How this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul...  
And I know I'll find, deep inside me, I can be the one..._

_I will never let you fall,  
I'll stand up with you forever.  
I'll be there for you through it all,  
Even if saving you sends me to heaven._

_It's okay... It's okay... It's okay._

_Seasons are changing and waves are crashing  
And stars are falling all for us.  
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter,  
I can show you I'll be the one..._

_I will never let you fall,  
I'll stand up with you forever...  
I'll be there for you through it all,  
Even if saving you sends me to heaven. _

_'Cause you're my, you're my, my, my true love,  
My whole heart, please don't throw that away...  
'Cus I am here for you...  
Please don't walk away, and please tell me you'll stay._

_Woah-  
Stay,  
Woah..._

_Use me as you will, pull my strings just for a thrill,  
And I know I'll be okay, though my skies are turning gray!_

_I will never let you fall,  
I'll stand up with you forever...  
I'll be there for you through it all,  
Even if saving you sends me to heaven!_

_I will never let you fall,  
I'll stand up with you forever...  
I'll be there for you through it all,  
Even if saving you sends me to heaven...  
_


End file.
